Worst. Shoes. Ever.

Worst shoes ever

Well, maybe not the absolute worst — you might have to go back to Chinese foot-binding days for that — but this pair of whatever the hell they are demands a full flushing with eye bleach. Remember when “cruel shoes” meant “uncomfortable”? These are cruel to the observer. I imagine some wan fellow in the studio, feeling the pressure of a deadline, when suddenly it occurs to him: “I’ve got it! It’s a boot and a flip-flop and a floor wax and a dessert topping!” Then, of course, his head explodes, because there is balance in nature. You can look at the entire outfit if you’re so inclined, but trust me: it’s not going to help. (There’s also a snarky poll at that link.)


  1. wamprat »

    31 July 2007 · 1:19 pm

    I honestly don’t think these are the worst ever, the high-heeled (stilleto) high top tennis shoes cause more of a gag reaction to me.

  2. Kay Dennison »

    31 July 2007 · 2:23 pm

    Can you say trashy, ugly and uncomfortable? I knew you could. Wanna take a bet she’s wearing that lingerie you mention here? lol

    There isn’t enough money to get me in those things! lolol

  3. Mister Snitch! »

    31 July 2007 · 4:03 pm

    Well after all, those boots weren’t made for walkin’.

  4. Don Mecoy »

    31 July 2007 · 6:44 pm

    I’m just glad you read “Go Fug Yourself” so I don’t have to. Thanks for the update (and who is that anyway?)

  5. CGHill »

    31 July 2007 · 6:47 pm

    I’m not quite sure who that is; they posted it as a Random Fug, without identification.

  6. Heather »

    1 August 2007 · 12:16 am

    Those are fantastic shoes of the future. Some day we will all run around in those things and the Logan’s Run dress. Gah, remember that movie?

  7. fillyjonk »

    1 August 2007 · 11:21 am

    For years, I’ve said that fashion designers hated women. Now, I’ve decided that this designer not only hates women, he (I assume it’s a he) hates the people who will be looking at them, too.

    I may wear ugly shoes (Birkenstocks) but at least my ugly shoes are FUNCTIONAL. These things look like they’re made for someone who doesn’t even walk from the limousine into the awards show.

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