Strange search-engine queries (509)

Much as I’d like to believe that everyone who visits this site is a personal friend who comes to hear the soothing sound of my voice and the occasional clash of joyous cymbals, it takes only the briefest glance at the logs to reveal that this can’t possibly be true. A lot of people land here accidentally, because they were looking for something. And now and again, it’s instructive to see just what it is they were looking for.

“territory ahead” tee shirts backorder problems:  What’s the problem? T-shirts get backordered all the time.

the song of chrs brwn ft tyga kerin mccal:  Um, this is not Twitter. You can spell things out if you have to.

i’m gonna whip somebody’s duck ringtone:  Better a duck than nae. Or, for that matter, nae.

what is d meaning of 3 mal func written on benz c230 dash board:  It means that you get to write a check to your Mercedes dealer. You should be used to it by now.

PLEASE SAVE THIS MESSAGE FOR YOUR RECORDS – PLEASE READ THIS MESSAGE IN FULL. Your security means:  Squat, obviously.

if you were a fifteenth-century american indian living in the region of modern-day ohio:  You’d presumably be spared traffic in downtown Columbus.

there was an old man in a tree:  Who found himself taking a pee; the force of his bladder, his lack of a ladder, gave passersby something to see.

tom cruise rock of ages codpiece:  Yeah, nice rock there, Tom.

what kind of sexualized:  Let’s worry about that next Halloween, okay, pal?

snake with boobs:  Must have been somehow sexualized.

teenagers spend billions of dollars on stereo equipment and compact discs. they have the ability:  To drive you nucking futz in a matter of minutes.

get laid in okc:  If you’re asking me, you’re indeed hard up.

finger in the nose:  This may be why you’re not getting laid.





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