Almost criminally vulgar

The winner of the Literary Review’s 2015 Bad Sex in Fiction award is Morrissey — yes, that Morrissey — for this unpersuasive bit of farkery from his debut novel List of the Lost:

Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

This from the man who gave us “How Soon Is Now?” I think a light has gone out somewhere.





3 comments

  1. Francis W. Porretto »

    6 December 2015 · 4:51 am

    My word. Someone actually wrote that and intended that it be read as anything but a parody? The mind reels.

    This should give hope to semi-competent writers all over the world. Somewhere in the afterlife, James Gould Cozzens is smiling from relief.

  2. McGehee »

    6 December 2015 · 7:10 am

    Prose that bad is intended (not necessarily by the author) to be skimmed over in much the same way TV commercials on a VCR or DVR are meant to be fast-forwarded. And has exactly as much to do with telling the story.

  3. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 7:23 am

    Russian sector of blogosphere would diagnose it in one word:
    Spermotoxicosis.

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