Little green balls of death

There’s an old tradition, in the comics if nowhere else, of kids disposing of undesired vegetables by slipping them under the table to the family dog, who presumably has no discernible taste, or finding other ways to get them off their plates without actually having to eat the horrible things. You’d probably think of this as something that happens at home, but apparently it can also happen at school:

A Year 3 pupil at Monkfield Park Primary School in Cambourne, Cambridgeshire, appears to have been secretly planting Brussels sprouts in their classmates’ bags to rid him or herself of the dreaded greens. Staff at the school have been left mystified as to who is behind it all and have now sent out a letter to parents in a bid to nip the prankster’s activities in the bud.

Parents, having once been kids themselves, don’t seem overly concerned:

But the bid to “out” the sprout smuggler, aged between seven and eight, has caused amusement for some parents at the school. One dad, who did not wish to be named, said: “When I read the letter I laughed. I thought it was a wind-up. The kid should get a medal and a job with MI5. The kid hid the sprouts from his mum and dad, probably got praise for eating them, then sneaked them into school. I appreciate the school protect pupils but an assembly and letter seems over the top for something so petty.”

The school, meanwhile, sternly maintains that this situation could be dangerous, in case anyone happens to be allergic to the little green spheres, though:

Experts say Brussels sprout allergies are very rare, affecting fewer than 1 in 50,000 people and are more likely with a raw vegetable than a cooked one.

(Title swiped from this earlier item.)





16 comments

  1. canadienne »

    6 December 2015 · 2:02 pm

    Got some sprout haters to eat them roasted, with a wee bit of EVOO and balsamic and lots of parmesan. Roasting them tll they get a wee bit brown on the edges gives them a better texture and flavour. Boiled sprouts are gross.

  2. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 2:24 pm

    What’s EVOO?

  3. canadienne »

    6 December 2015 · 2:31 pm

    Extra virgin olive oil. Not that I am trying to be pretentious about it. I found a brand from Italy the flavour of which I really like.

  4. canadienne »

    6 December 2015 · 2:33 pm

    Actually I think you mentioned you live in New York – I’m insanely jealous of your opportunity to find ingredients like that!

  5. McGehee »

    6 December 2015 · 2:39 pm

    Properly prepared (or, as in the case of spinach, not prepared at all), just about any food I loathed as a child can be made quite tasty.

    Except liver. Now that I’m all grown up and know what that organ is for, I’m even more agin eating it.

  6. CGHill »

    6 December 2015 · 2:56 pm

    I don’t remember having any particular antipathy toward Brussels sprouts, perhaps because we could count on them being served at least four times a month.

  7. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 4:44 pm

    Canadienne, but isn’t these are rather common? I mean, my family lives in Michigan – and they have access to much more rare stuff than olive oil, parmesan and balsamic. True, in my local supermarket there, probably, at least 15 brands of each, from all over the world – but at the end it doesn’t make much difference: you find one you like more than others and stick to it.

    Thanks for decifering the abbr.; sometimes I really do need Capt’n Obvious to point me to things.

  8. fillyjonk »

    6 December 2015 · 4:46 pm

    I still remain unconvinced about Brussels sprouts, they were cooked the Old British Way in my family – boiled to death so they perfumed the whole house. Though I will say as the person with the most odd-but-not-deadly food allergies that I know*, I have never had any trouble with members of the cabbage family.

    So if I lose more ability to eat more things, I may be left with those. Urgh.

    (*Celery, carrots, cucumbers, raw melon, cashews, pistachios, mangoes, possibly some sensitivity to strawberries in the high allergy season, possibly one or two seasonings I can’t figure out – the last time I ate a gyro I got hives inside my mouth and I’m unconvinced it was just the cucumber in the tzatzki sauce)

  9. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 4:46 pm

    Mmm, liver…Veal, preferably, with cream and sauteed onions…OK, when’s the dinner?!

  10. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 4:59 pm

    FJ, can you eat bacon?
    Here’s recipe for holiday side of Brussels sprouts and carrots (taken from the Christmas table of French-American cook and a caterer).

    In a shallow baking sheet melt half a package of medium-fatty bacon (sliced into 1″w strips). Not to brown them, just to have enough flavor and to cover the bottom of the sheet with fat.
    Wash, half and dry w/ paper towel Brassels sprouts, cut peeled carrots into 1/2″w disks. Arrange nicely on the sheet (sprouts – cut side down), sprinkle with 1/4 glass of water, cover with foil and put into 400F-heated oven. Remove foil after 15 minutes, lower temp to 375F and keep for another 5-10min., depending on your oven. They should not be brown but slightly roasted around edges. Sometimes the juice still remains in the dish; that’s good.

  11. ETat »

    6 December 2015 · 5:04 pm

    Oh, shoot, just saw the carrots are on your no-no list..Well, then exclude them from the recipe; instead you might want to sprinkle the sheet a bit with dried cranberries, before putting it into the oven.

  12. fillyjonk »

    6 December 2015 · 6:49 pm

    I’m not *supposed* to eat bacon (sodium).

    Not “supposed” to though isn’t the same thing as can’t…..

  13. McGehee »

    6 December 2015 · 8:46 pm

    Tat, I believe foods should be eaten by who likes them. In that spirit, in the unlikely event anyone ever tries to serve me liver, I’ll be happy to ship it to you.   ;-)

  14. backwoods conservative »

    7 December 2015 · 5:44 pm

    Somebody told my mother that it was very unusual for someone to raise six kids and all of them love liver, but she did. I still consider it a delicacy.

  15. canadienne »

    7 December 2015 · 11:27 pm

    Tat, most things are available where I live (and I don’t live in Toronto or Vancouver now) but I have to drive around more than I want to get them.

    I will have to try your sprout recipe.

    I’m kind of liver-neutral – my mother cooked it brilliantly but I never got her recipe or technique and now it is too late, as for many other things I should have asked her.

  16. ETat »

    8 December 2015 · 7:17 am

    Canadienne: the trick with liver is to lightly cover pieces with flour first, before sauteing in very hot pan.

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