The competition is fierce

Fauxcountry News, which is to Charleston (South Carolina) what The Lost Ogle is to Oklahoma City, recently ran this piece which I believe to be at least somewhat satirical:

Charleston is well-known for winning best city awards from various travel and tourism magazines, but now Charleston has earned a new honor. Stylish Woman Magazine has selected Charleston as the #1 city with the most beautiful women who must settle for complete douchebags.

Editor-in-Chief of Stylish Woman Corrin Mason said it was an easy choice when all was said and done. “We visited a lot of cities,” said Mason. “But within one hour of touring Charleston, it became abundantly clear this city was the winner. I’ve never seen so many hot women paired with such arrogant asswipes.”

It’s purely a matter of demographics:

Charleston is well-known for having a 2-to-1 female-to-male population ratio. The gender discrepancy leads to the phenomenon known as The Musical Chairs Effect on the dating scene. In your early 20’s, the music starts and all the decent, good-looking guys are immediately snatched up. As the music continues playing into your late 20’s, the remaining population of single men are claimed and married in progressive order from “he’s okay” to “meh.” When women hit their early 30’s, they’re forced to date one of the leftover douchebags before the music stops and they become a crazy cat lady.

It’s been 47 years since I was a resident of the Holy City, but even back then, there was feminine pulchritude in dazzling profusion. I didn’t reach full douchery, however, until long after I’d left.





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