Strange search-engine queries (551)

Surely by now you’ve seen this before: we look at the search strings attached to various visits — yes, Virginia, your browser sends such things, although Google tends to encrypt them — and pick a few to mock on Monday morning.

open season mascots:  That explains the guys in costume running all over the place.

sofia still lives at home, but helps with the rent paying $200 per month. she has a job that pays about $700 per month after taxes. she has to pay for her own personal items such as clothing and toiletries spending about $120 per month. going out with friends is important to her, but she also wants:  A brand-new Mini Cooper, because they’re just so gosh-darn cute.

joanna plans on hanging 3 pictures of different sizes on the wall of her staircase. she thinks it will look best if all 3 rectangular pictures are similar. the two sizes she has already are 25 in. by 35 in.and 35 in. by 49 in. which of the following is a possible size of the third picture?  Sofia used to search these things instead of doing her homework, which is why she makes only $700 a month.

during a long drive tony counted:  But sadly, he didn’t count for much.

how to hack somebodys tinder:  I hope someone swipes you off the face of the earth.

“bandwidth” -“amd” -“ghz” -“$” -“gpu”:  Sorry, your ping still sucks.

at sanger’s auto garage, 40% of the cars brought in for service need an oil change. of the cars that need oil changes, 30% also need a tire rotation. find the probability that a car that comes into the auto garage needs both an oil change and a tire rotation:  All of them. Sanger has a boat payment due.

my life is ruined yahoo answers:  Yep. That’ll do it every time.

taylor has had two experiences with two christian-based institutions: the oral roberts university infomercial and jesus is lord used tires. these two institutions are different because:  The tire store has a 10-day warranty.

ex-yankee milf ~pounding the hell out of friend’s mom~:  Doesn’t sound like Jeter.

conjoined fanfiction:  Too many characters.

obama ineligible:  After 2016, anyway.

i want to book a hotel at universal orlando 10 april for one night plus two day park tickets:  Um, you’re doing it wrong.

drip advisor:  Is this pre- or post-nasal?







3 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    22 August 2016 · 5:56 am

    Also, I rate the probability that the Sanger’s auto garage question was originally a math homework problem at 100%.

  2. CGHill »

    22 August 2016 · 4:55 pm

    At the very least.

  3. In The Mailbox: 08.22.16 : The Other McCain »

    22 August 2016 · 6:20 pm

    […] Dustbury: Strange Search Engine Queries (551) […]

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