Strange search-engine queries (565)

As for me, I give thanks that close to 2000 people visit this site every week, and some of them are looking for really weird things, thereby giving me the opportunity to fill up this space.

ivan just spent an evening watching pornographic movies of attractive women who actually seemed to enjoy being sexually molested. this experience is most likely to lead him to:  Hair growth on his palms.

dildo mistaken for duck:  Yeah, but what if it was the other way around?

pete’s disappointed with the projections of how much his cupcake cart will make in the first month. what could he do to try to improve his net profit?  Bake some cupcakes in the shape of dildos ducks.

moby negotiates a contract with nora via e-mail. it is reasonable to infer that moby has consented to‚Äč:  Something, but you really don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?

your mom tells you to charge a price of 25 cents for each bracelet. since the marginal cost of making a bracelet is also 25 cents, this price will:  Suck.

a shift back to an emphasis on postponed gratification in america would most likely:  Suck.

swiftonsecurity doxxed:  Not a chance. The girl’s very name is “security.”

sears death spiral:  If it carries the Craftsman brand, it has a lifetime warranty.

scott, a young professional, buys a new bmw. scott’s new bmw is an example of:  Douchery.

little douche coupe:  Okay, enough about Scott already.

karl malden nose disease:  Usually diagnosed by visual inspection.

is artillery fungus harmful to humans:  Depends on whether it actually hits them.

lice masters treatment boutique oklahoma city, ok:  Ewwww. Still nicer than artillery fungus, though.

how to hack somebodys tinder:  You’re taking that word “swipe” too literally.







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