Strange search-engine queries (568)

This exercise is actually pretty simple. Everyone who visits this site from a search engine brings along a string of text that represents what is being sought. Some of those strings inevitably are more amusing than others.

“the board will feature”:  No, it won’t. You’re just surrendering to the Hype Machine.

pete’s disappointed with the projections of how much his cupcake cart will make in the first month. what could he do to try to improve his net profit?  Use less turmeric.

ivan just spent an evening watching:  I still don’t know where he got the idea that the Boy Scouts awarded a merit badge for stalking.

barry is a young gay man living in grand forks, iowa. barry has been “outed” by some kids in his class. according to research, what is barry likely facing because of this event?  A late-night visit from Ivan.

guy convinces sister shes invisible:  And was paid $20 by Ivan.

by the ______, 35,000 people had been lobotomized in the united states:   “Election coverage.”

the fat grackle archive:  A good thing, since grackles have been painfully thin of late.

sir mix-a-lot jackass the movie (original soundtrack) (explicit) genre:  I like bad films and I cannot lie.

which of the following would result in cognitive dissonance? i believe smoking is bad for my health; i love to smoke. i believe exercising is healthy; i love to exercise. i believe dresses are feminine; nicole kidman sometimes wears pants. i believe profanity is childish; my father uses profanity:  Never mind that. How do we get Nicole Kidman out of those pants?

steely dan torture:  For instance, making them do it without the fez on.

crap diem:  Yeah, I think we’ve all had days like that.

does 7 eleven sell lottery tickets:  Along with corn dogs and unleaded gasoline.

where is parella lewis going:  To 7-Eleven. You need any lottery tickets?

what is lolita more likely to experience if she has many daily hassles and chronic stressors in her life?  Pervs like Clare Quilty.







1 comment

  1. In The Mailbox: 12.19.16 : The Other McCain »

    19 December 2016 · 9:23 pm

    […] Dustbury: Strange Search Engine Queries, also, Stimulating! […]

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