Brand new, shiny red, super stock

Jack Baruth muses about the impact of the dreaded Dodge Demon. (You remember the 707-hp Hellcat? Add 133 horses, or about one Hyundai Elantra.) At some point, things become post-apocalyptic:

The press preview for the Demon will happen any day now. All the Demons will be started at once. The resulting CO2 emissions will cause the earth to hockey-stick into the Apocalypse. The ground will start catching on fire. A rough beast will arise from the ground and begin slouching towards Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, drawn by rumors of a Demon in stock with no additional dealer markup. Life will be first cheap, then worthless. There is really a Jurassic Park. The dinosaurs in it are being crushed into oil to feed the Demons. The seas will rise, then fall. The earth will halt its rotation. It is falling into the sun as we speak. Three minutes to impact. Your cell phone is ringing. It is your Dodge dealer. There is a chance of a Demon allocation for 2018. Are you in or out?

I’m honestly not really prepared to pony up $85,000 for this Dodge, even though (1) that’s still cheaper than the Viper, may it rest in peace, and (2) whatever the MSRP, most dealers will tack on ten grand more, and David Stanley fifteen grand. But this is the true counterargument:

The author would like to remind everyone that his Kawasaki ZX-14R is faster than a Demon.

So there. And you still have to contend with little old ladies.







6 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    20 April 2017 · 2:30 pm

    Frack, $85,000? That’s more than I paid for my entire HOUSE.

    (Standard disclaimer: I am not one of those women impressed by how fast/expensive/luxe/red/environmentally-friendly/environmentally-destructive a guy’s car may be.)

  2. McG »

    20 April 2017 · 5:19 pm

    If I had 85 large to spend on transportation I’d make three salesmen at Carmax very, very happy. And Mrs. McG very unhappy about these three cars sitting in the front yard spending our insurance dollars without burning a drop of gasoline.

  3. CGHill »

    20 April 2017 · 6:09 pm

    It might be more than that; FCA has said only that it’s under a hundred grand, though I suspect they’ll price it low enough that the dealers will feel no guilt in adding 10k of additional markup. Not that they ever do.

  4. fillyjonk »

    20 April 2017 · 6:18 pm

    “Under $100,000” = $99,995

  5. CGHill »

    20 April 2017 · 7:03 pm

    Well, maybe. But I figured $75,000 for the Hellcat, which turned out to be about $10k too high. (Still, the base Challenger SXT is way under $30k.)

  6. Pergelator »

    22 April 2017 · 12:52 am

    More Power

    Jack Baruth has an entertaining story about the Dodge Demon, a new car with an 800 HP engine. Via Dustbury.

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