Strange search-engine queries (87)

A new month, a mostly-new season, but more of the same old thing. Next person who asks the reason for my longevity, I’m going to point to this category and remind him that dead horses seldom object to the beatings.

is she into me or not:  Not. If she were into you, you’d have no time for Google.

sob ordinance crown point:  It is time for you to stop all of your sobbing.

dating “the women i like” “san francisco”:  There doesn’t seem to be much point in dating women you don’t like.

rush ruled under satan’s hand:  Or, more contemporary and just as believable: Hinder — “How I Need Dorks Enjoying Recordings.”

voters on hotenough.org are jealous and vote low:  Because nothing induces envy like a low-resolution photograph of someone you’ll never see in real life.

crossdress caught by mom:  She was wondering who’d been stealing her underwear.

“are you a girl”:  No. And this is my own underwear, I’ll have you know.

is baking soda okay to ingest for celica people:  I owned a Celica for many years, but it never occurred to me to pig out on the old Arm & Hammer.

here’s some naked pictures to help you masturbate:  If you’re really creative, you don’t need pictures.

using non premium gasoline in infiniti q45:  You can afford a $55,000 car, but you can’t afford an extra twenty-five cents a gallon?

groin vault in terre haute:  Because Hoosiers should never have to worry about going groinless.

who the hell is jacob weinstein:  How the hell should I know?

how to persuade wife to get brazilian wax:  You might try offering her a vacation in Brazil.

shoplifting at the Home Depot or Lowes:  If you have to choose, pick the one that doesn’t have your desired item on a weekly special.

what items do pawn shops pay a lot for:  Things that aren’t shoplifted from the Home Depot or Lowes.





1 comment

  1. Gabrielle Dolly »

    1 October 2007 · 11:36 am

    Oo! Like the Pretenders allusion!

    GFD

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