And 58 flops

H. J. Heinz is known for — says so right on the label — “57 varieties.” (Actually, I think they have more than that, but you don’t throw away a perfectly good trademark.) It would be heinous, I think, for them to obtain a new one by slapping a different label on an old one.

And especially in this case:

“Chicago is an amazing city full of traditions — [one] of them, as you well know, is never putting Ketchup on your Chicago Dog,” reads an oddly capitalized press release. It continues: “While Heinz respects this time-honored tradition, the brand is hoping that Chicagoans will reconsider their anti-ketchup stance.”

Nah. Chicago’s good.

Heinz’s new “Chicago Dog Sauce” — a limited-time-only cheap marketing ploy that disguises the company’s normal, bland ketchup with a new label — is an insult to Abe Froman and the rest of Chicago’s encased-meat community.

“But our marketing survey … ?”

No one here cares about that “random” sample of gullible tourists who deemed this behavior acceptable. These traitors were caught on film along the lakefront. They might as well be Packers fans.

(Via E. M. Zanotti.)





5 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    20 July 2017 · 12:07 pm

    “I feel a great disturbance in the Food. Almost as if 2.7 million voices cried out, and then were silent”

  2. Bryan Doe »

    20 July 2017 · 1:25 pm

    “Chicago’s encased-meat community”

  3. Mike aka Proof »

    20 July 2017 · 2:40 pm

    I always thought a “Heinz 57” was what you call a mixed breed dog!

  4. CGHill »

    20 July 2017 · 3:25 pm

    Not just dogs, either.

  5. Holly H »

    21 July 2017 · 10:14 am

    Fillyjonk, nicely done.

    “encased-meat community”– As a vegetarian, I feel slighted. My condiments are important too. Perhaps even more so. Takes a lot to spice up tofu.

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