Strange search-engine queries (609)

What would your Monday be like without a deep dive into the search logs? Let’s hope you don’t find out any time soon.

97 ford probe 5 speed gear wont engage unless high rpms:  Well, duh. Do we assume that you’ve messed up your gearbox, or that you just don’t know how to drive a stick?

jenny scordamaglia grope:  Don’t even think it. You touch her barely clad (if at all) body and you’ll hear from every lawyer in the 305.

ergora fashion gmbh oberlungwitz:  Say that fast three times.

eternal sonata dentures:  Not transferable to a second owner.

a savings account compounds interest, at a rate of 25%, once a year. eve puts $500 in the account as the principal. how can eve set up a function to track the amount of money she has?  25 percent? What is this alleged bank investing in? Venezuelan junk bonds?

“forbear”:  What Charmin ought to do with those damn TV commercials.

in the excerpt which concept causes the downfall of humanity:  Pumpkin spice. Isn’t it obvious?

devon knows that there are 3 teaspoons:  He knows no such thing. There is no spoon.

linklifted:  Some people are just utterly desperate for backlinks.

colonel sanders rule 34:  Doesn’t sound like the original recipe to me.

until upskirts:  It was still possible to strum one’s own sitar, so to speak.

screaming frog alternative:  A toad with a speech impediment.

groove music drm removal:  “I’ll pay any price to avoid paying any price.”





5 comments »

  1. Dan T. »

    2 October 2017 · 7:01 am

    Clearly, those Charmin commercials are for bears, not humans.

    The people who came up with parables about runaway artificial superintelligences destroying the universe by optimizing for maximum paperclip production should have written about pumpkin spice maximizers instead.

    Screaming Frog Alternative is probably the hottest new musical genre.

  2. fillyjonk »

    2 October 2017 · 7:16 am

    I saw Screaming Frog Alternative open for Toad the Wet Sprocket back in ’93.

  3. McG »

    2 October 2017 · 4:28 pm

    ergora fashion gmbh oberlungwitz: Say that fast three times.

    I always get tripped up on “gmbh.” Is it Gaelic or Hebrew?

  4. fillyjonk »

    2 October 2017 · 8:37 pm

    I imagine it’s pronounced kind of like the “ger” in “ehrmagerd”

  5. In The Mailbox: 10.02.17 : The Other McCain »

    2 October 2017 · 9:16 pm

    […] Dustbury: Strange Search Engine Queries, also, Groundwork Being Laid […]

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