Doesn’t do 185

2004 Maserati GT4200In fact, the guy selling it has had difficulty getting it to do much of anything:

Some of you may recognize this as a 2004 Maserati Coupé (also known as the 4200 GT). Don’t let that gorgeous Italian body fool you though, this car is Satan’s chariot to Hell (or bankruptcy).

I do not exaggerate when I say that this car has been in the shop HALF the time I have owned it. In the last 6 months, I have put ELEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS into it in parts and labor and the thing still isn’t right.

I’m not rich. I’m just an average dude that always wanted a Maserati. Since I was a kid I lusted after those Italian curves and exhaust note. Now my own kids come to me and ask me why there’s no food to eat and the electricity has been turned off and I have to tell them it’s because Daddy’s car is sick again.

This car has a new clutch, new clutch actuator, position sensor, F1 pump and relay, gear selector switch (a 2k SWITCH) new tie rods and new tires. It has the miraculous F1 transmission. As in if it works, it is a miracle. It is also seemingly inhabited by evil spirits.

Beyond that, it’s had a few issues. Sixteen grand and it’s yours:

I want this thing out of my sight. I’m tired of sitting in it at night drinking and making engine noises with my mouth while I pretend it is not a huge pile of disappointment and debt.

(Via Jayvie Arellano.)





3 comments »

  1. McG »

    2 October 2017 · 10:27 pm

    I’m just an average dude that always wanted a Maserati.

    Note to self: Never tell the Maserati dealer you’re an “average dude” — he’ll sell you the lemon every time. Tell him you’re the most interesting man in the world who needs an exceptional car to get to your day job of curing cancer and bringing about world peace.

    He’ll still sell you the lemon, but he’ll feel guilty.

  2. CGHill »

    2 October 2017 · 10:40 pm

    The local Maserati dealer has a lease deal on the Quattroporte: $1069 a month.

    In other news, we have a local Maserati dealer.

  3. fillyjonk »

    3 October 2017 · 5:34 am

    I’m guessing for the commission the guy makes, he doesn’t feel THAT guilty. And I seriously doubt a car salesman cares how super great the person they are trying to sell to claims to be.

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