A dab of Armor All behind the mirrors
This guy shouldn’t be allowed in a parking lot:
Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the BMW display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Then, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000.
Shortly after that, Wong had dropped his sweat pants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while sitting with his legs dangling over the driver’s door window. Security eventually detained Wong until police showed up and a clean-up crew had to wash down the BMW.
Apparently it’s not just Bimmers, either:
[A psychiatrist] said Wong reported he also gets aroused by certain cars, including a 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Chevy Bel Air, and blames the owners for buying the cars because it tempts him to “pleasure” himself.
Court heard Wong was also arrested May 24 for jumping on a 2005 Mini Cooper outside the downtown Boston Pizza, dropping his pants and proceeding to “tuck, rub and bounce his naked genitalia” on the hood of the car. He also admitted climbing onto the roof of a 1991 Buick Century parked at the rear of a south-side home, taking off his clothes and masturbating on June 12.
A ’91 Buick? This guy is hard-core and then some. They’re going to have to chain him to an AMC Gremlin, drive him halfway up the Dempster Highway, and leave him there.
(Via The Poor Farm.)
writer chick »
26 November 2007 · 9:50 am
Wow,
Now that’s what I call a car lover! I knew men really had a thing for cars but I’d no idea they would take it this far. No wonder they name them after women. ;)
WC
Craig »
26 November 2007 · 10:42 am
At least he’s appropriately named. :-)
Ed Flinn »
26 November 2007 · 11:49 am
Appliantologist, I bet.
localmalcontent »
26 November 2007 · 2:13 pm
I had a company car in the mid 90s that I almost felt the same way for. ‘Almost’, the operative word. It was a ’93 Lexus GS350, and while driving it, I was king of the road! But do the loving memories of that car qualify as fantasies?
McGehee »
26 November 2007 · 3:25 pm
There’s a really great joke to be made here, but the setup is more effort than the punchline is worth.
McGehee »
26 November 2007 · 3:27 pm
A simpler joke, though, would be to observe that he’s unclear on the concept of auto-eroticism.
writer chick »
26 November 2007 · 7:00 pm
McGehee, now that was funny!
WC
Interested-Participant »
1 December 2007 · 2:27 pm
I Love My Car But There’s A Limit
Some guys are car lovers and some guys make love to cars. Wong is the latter and he is freaky. We have whole new meanings for “parking” and “autoerotic.” Check the link.