Strange search-engine queries (101)

Your search giants, your Googles and Yahoos and such, don’t really have time, or at least don’t bother to make time, to go through the logs looking for sick and twisted stuff.

Me, on the other hand….

Shoplifting Policy Lowes:  They’re against it.

“blade ruiner”:  I suppose you’ll have to go to Lowe’s for a new one.

what size condom should i wear with a 5 inch penis:   I’d avoid anything with a picture of the Incredible Hulk on the box.

i used to be a tree:  And before that, a nut?

what man could do six hundred years ago in entertainment:  Well, some prince or other made some noises about partying like it’s 1399.

One Ounce of Silver buys five gallons of gas:  Although you have to pay inside, as the pumps aren’t calibrated to accept precious metals.

fun looks like google:  But does Google look like fun?

what’s wrong with Diane Rehm why does she sound like a Hepburn:  Why would this be a problem? (Unless it’s the late Canadian weightlifter Doug Hepburn.)

scuzzbuckets aforethought:  Because you don’t want spontaneous scuzzbucketry.

“joe biden” flatulence:  “All right, that’s it, out of the caucus. Now.”

silly string breast augmentation:  I suppose it would work at first, but the stuff tends to migrate.

“ring cycle” wagner “dance mix”:  The Rhinemaidens can really shake that thing.

lance cargill caught by cleaning crew:  So that’s what those “100 ideas” were all about.





5 comments

  1. McGehee »

    7 January 2008 · 7:31 am

    fun looks like google:

    Like fun it does.

  2. fillyjonk »

    7 January 2008 · 12:05 pm

    I’d actually like to hear a dance remix of some of Wagner’s stuff…

    “It’s got good explosions and you can dance to it”?

  3. Mark Alger »

    8 January 2008 · 8:52 am

    Dunno about Lowe’s, but there’s an UL going around that Home Depot has the policy not to physically pursue shoplifters outside the store.

    Of course, HD would be fools to confirm it.

    M

  4. CGHill »

    8 January 2008 · 10:33 am

    How about this, then?

  5. Charles Pergiel »

    8 January 2008 · 3:58 pm

    I am going to blame (rightly or wrongly) Home Depot’s shoplifter policy on “The Club for Growth”. All they are interested in is the money, not whether anything is right or wrong. Seems like the employees that were fired for chasing the shoplifters should have some legal recourse against Home Depot. They should be good Americans and sue! Or maybe the shoplifters steal so they can be members in good standing of “The Club for Growth”. Ha!

    And the “100 ideas” page needs some formatting work.

RSS feed for comments on this post