Society is thoroughly hosed
In the process of denouncing “mantyhose,” as any rational person would, Fillyjonk lets slip a technical aspect of the, um, garment:
They really don’t cover any figure flaws. “Control top” really isn’t. It’s mainly a discomfort device aimed at preventing you from wanting to eat while you’re wearing it.
As they say in those idiotic Cox Digital ads, “What else don’t I know?”
Tatyana »
9 November 2008 · 1:10 pm
I’ll tell you what else: I hate the type with so called “sandal foot”. Even the normal socks come with double-layer at the heel and the toes – and those are made with much stronger fiber/thread than the pantyhose. Besides, nobody wears pantyhose with sandals anymore; that summer clothes requirement is gone the way of white cotton gloves and straw hats!
Kay Dennison »
9 November 2008 · 1:43 pm
Yeah, all of the above is true but if you’re old like me they beat the hell outta what we wore before them!!!!!!!! I shudder at the thought!
fillyjonk »
9 November 2008 · 4:29 pm
I think the “sandal foot” innovation is just a ruse to sell more pantyhose, because for me, nine times out of ten, the fatal run that ends a pair’s life starts in the toe.
It’s REALLY hard to find the reinforced-toe kind, though.
It would be interesting to try out what was used “before,” but I suspect that once I’d made the investment in the belt and stockings, I’d find it too much trouble…then again, if you get a run in one stocking, at least the whole pair’s not shot.
Tatyana »
9 November 2008 · 5:41 pm
Trust me, *fillyjonk, you wouldn’t like the hassle. Each side has 4 (hmm…vocabulary malfunction. How the hell these things are called in Eng?) erm…hooks? no, they aren’t exactly hooks…anyway, they click and hold the textile in place., 8 alltogether. And they have to click in exactly correct location, or your stocking will appear crooked. Which is not very comfortable, to work the pair at the back. And then the biggest hassle is on winter days, because you’ll need yet another, longer pair of…eee…undergarment to cover the gap between the stockings’ top and the bottom of the garter belt. (Not sure if I made myself clear.) Quite chilly if you didn’t, you know.
sya »
9 November 2008 · 10:06 pm
This reminds me of the institution where I did my undergrad–there was this crazy old guy who often wandered around campus looking like some deranged escapee from a ren fair. He wore pantyhose and claimed that it kept him warm during the winter and cool during the summer. Needless to say, no one paid any attention to him.
fillyjonk »
10 November 2008 · 6:21 am
I had another thought about the “mantyhose” – do they come with a Special Sekrit Opening, or do the chaps who wear them, uh, sit to do “Number 1″?
Because I can see having to pull those things down partway, while choreographing that particular action done-while-standing, could lead to a fall.
Or maybe the models who wear them are some special breed that never need to eliminate?
(And Tat, I think the word you’re looking for is “clasps.” At least on the version I’ve seen. And seeing as how I live in Southern Oklahoma, except for a couple weeks in December and January, I might not need the extra-length nether-garment anyway. But then again…there’s the old problem of “over or under” and whether looking good or washroom convenience is more important. So I suppose I’ll stick to the “L’eggs,” as much as I L’oathe them.)
Tatyana »
10 November 2008 · 8:52 am
Clasps! Correctimo!
I’m glad you decided against them, *fillyjonk.
[and that I didn't need to mention other inconveniences associated with the arrangement to convince you].
I mean – fine for a few minutes of display as part of a negligee , but to use in any functional sense…I’ll stick with technical progress.]
CGHill »
10 November 2008 · 12:12 pm
It occurs to me upon rereading this thread that the owner of one of the finest sets of stems in the 48 states celebrates her [mumble-mumbleth] birthday today.