Not that I’d ever look away
Women are beautiful. Women are sexy. Women wearing hose — especially with a garter belt, or with a line running down the back — are very sexy. Women in the act of putting hose on = Inherently awkward and not sexy. Somehow this does not seem fair.
“Awkward” and “sexy” are not mutually exclusive. (If they were, you’d be reading a blog called The 55-Year-Old Virgin.)
I will concede that the donning of tights might not be quite so thrilling, but you don’t generally see tights with a garter belt, or with a line running down the back.
xarcadia »
10 December 2008 · 8:34 am
You know, in movies and music videos you see these women putting on those garters and that hose – usually with long red fingernails – pulling them up seductively. They look so good putting them on. No awkwardness at all. If everyone could put hose on that way, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be awkward. I’m also pretty sure that there are about 4 women in the whole world who can be sexy whilst donning hose, and they are all in movies and music videos.
fillyjonk »
10 December 2008 · 9:17 am
It’s like supermodels. There are, like, 20 women in the world who are genetically programmed to be tall, naturally thin, have beautiful hair and beautiful faces.
And they make it so hard for the rest of us.
I will admit to having nearly fallen on my bum once trying to put hose on. Granted, it was in a small space (nowhere to sit down) and I was standing on a slick tile floor, but still: not one of my better moments.
Tatyana »
10 December 2008 · 10:53 am
red long nails and hose…the only mental image it gives me: dammit, I ruined yet another pair!
xarcadia »
10 December 2008 · 12:16 pm
Lol, I know right? How realistic is it for one to try and put on hose with long nails? especially those fake press on kinds or the LONG ass acrylics.
Brian J. »
10 December 2008 · 12:21 pm
You know, I think that what women think is sexy is a much smaller list of things than what men think is sexy.
Matt »
10 December 2008 · 1:37 pm
Brian J is 100% correct. :)
Most women would, I think, be far less insecure if they knew the full panoply of things about them that turn their mates (not to mention other guys) on.
It’s not just me and Brian and a few other guys on blogs, either. “Amateur” porn (that is, porn starring women who don’t look like what you’d think a porn star looks like) is the fastest growing segment of the market, and the most profitable. Guys are pulling out their charge cards in record numbers to watch women who look like the women they pass on the street every day, and often it’s watching them doing what seems like ordinary and “un-sexy” stuff.
Whatever you do, ladies, seeing you do it turns a lot of us on.
Flack »
10 December 2008 · 6:25 pm
Personally I never found the act of putting any piece of clothing on sexier than taking it off!
Brian J. »
10 December 2008 · 8:13 pm
My sympathies, Flack.