No longer a staple attraction
The quality of centerfolds, says Stingray, is seriously strained these days:
In days gone by, the ladies who graced the pages of Playboy were just that, more or less: ladies. They brought individuality, from Marilyn Monroe to Bettie Page the fine female physiques presented were diverse of form and interesting to the eye. Today the only notable difference is hair color, and with some of the models, I’d be willing to bet that was just an afterthought done in Photoshop. The airbrushing applied to each successive shoot before LabRat and I decided that reading the additive list to the toilet paper would be more interesting than reading Playboy whilst going about lavatory activities was so thick, I’m reasonably sure that I could’ve posed passably. Add to this that each model appeared to need a hot meal considerably more desperately than they needed a hot date, and it didn’t leave a favorable impression of what went on at a Playboy shoot.
Oh, and on the matter of hair color? Forget the carpet matching the drapes. In fact, per this comment, forget the carpet altogether:
And I can lay the sudden switch in Policy about Pubes at the feet of Hef’s daughter. I know that at one point they had a “Pube toupee” for girls who went for the “wood floor” look, in order to hide Labias, which company policy was you did not show them in print, as Playboy was “High Class”, unlike every other mag which was “mere pornography”. My guess is that she took over, and took one look at the freefalling circulation, and decided that “bald is beautiful”.
“Pube toupee.” Why, it’s the Merkin way.
Anyway, Christie Hefner is stepping down from her post at Playboy Enterprises at the end of this month, so we’ll see if there’s any growth to come.
As for myself, I await the day when I will actually guess the Playmate of the Year correctly.
Addendum, 10 pm: Robert Stacy McCain detects distortion in the Rabbitational field:
I was struck by the extreme artificiality of these latter-day Miss Aprils and Miss Mays with their depilated-and-silicon-impanted physiques. There is something bizarre (and arguably wrong) about glorifying an “ideal” that has no naturally-occurring example.
As the Professor might say, “Indeed.”
Peter »
25 January 2009 · 10:08 pm
Blecch … fully shaved women are disgusting, not to mention the fact that they appeal to pedophiles. Adult women should look like adult women.
McGehee »
26 January 2009 · 9:24 am
I’ll settle for them not looking like scarecrows.
Dan B »
26 January 2009 · 8:54 pm
Proper care of a Merkin (from The Straight Dope):
“Confirm that merkin is the proper size before wearing. Use of an improperly sized merkin may result in paralysis.
“On first use your merkin may be stiff and difficult to attach properly. Do not be embarrassed to ask for assistance. For best results we recommend that four persons be recruited for this purpose–one to grasp either leg, one to apply the merkin, and one to act as lookout.
“Once the merkin is in place, it should be appropriately lubricated using light sewing machine oil, petroleum jelly, #2 fuel oil, or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter when on sale at Safeway. Do not use so much lubricant that it dribbles in the street. Merkin should not ’squish’ when in use.
“Your merkin is highly flammable. Do not use if temperature rises above 73 degrees. If merkin ignites while in use, seek assistance by running into the nearest street and shouting, “I’M ON FIRE DAMMIT!” Do not panic. The number of people who die as a result of burns from a flaming merkin is surprisingly small.”
David »
26 January 2009 · 9:54 pm
Okay. “So we’ll see if there’s any growth to come.” Wasn’t the suggested trend in the pubes post headed in the other direction? Full disclosure if not scorched earth—-as in the merkin entry.