Working for scale

Prompted by Michele, I have determined that as far as the Chinese are concerned, I am a consumer of cheap crap a Snake. Let’s see about that:

Snakes have always been the seducers of human beings. If you know the story of “The White Snake”, you will understand what I mean. In reality, Snake people are born charming and popular. Snakes are spotlight magnets, and they will not be ignored. Peer group attention and public recognition are the least of what he expects. Yet Snakes are never noisy or deliberately outspoken, and they have have excellent manners.

This has, of course, nothing to do with Whitesnake. And while I insist that I don’t seek the limelight and don’t care a fig for fame, readers might point out that not only do I have a SiteMeter, but I actually pay for it.

I have been outspoken at times, occasionally even deliberately.

Most people are secretly or hopelessly in love with Snakes. Gather those frustrated folk you know and most likely, they are probably in love with a Snake. Irresistible as they seem, the Snake never wastes time in idle gossip. He thinks often and deeply. He is an intellectual, a philosopher, a cerebral person. Snake people rely heavily on first impressions, on their own feelings, on their sympathies, rather than on facts, on the advice and opinions on others. He seems to have a kind of sixth sense in this way.

If I seem to have a sixth sense, it’s because the other five aren’t working correctly, or something. And this description seems to conflict with my established INTJ status.

In money matters, the Snake has good luck: he doesn’t have to worry — he’ll always be able to lay his hand on money when he needs it. Generally, Snakes are careful but generous with friends and family. The Snake should stick to careers that won’t involve him in any risk — even the risk of working too hard, for to tell the truth, the Snake is a bit lazy.

I think I have all of $35 in my PayPal account. (I suppose I could stash a few more dollars in there, but I’m too lazy.)

In love, the Snake male is romantic and charming. He has a sense of humor and the female is usually beautiful and successful. but if a Snake chooses a partner, he’ll be jealous and possessive — even if he no longer loves her. Rejection is the worst blow his delicate ego can suffer. The Snake must be received, welcomed, accepted and approved by those with whom he comes in contact. They need a lot of security.

Hmpf. If it weren’t for rejection, I’d get no reaction from those beautiful and/or successful females at all.

As with real snakes, which hibernate in the cold season and come out when it’s warm, Snake people shine in the hot months. And the Snake born at midday in the heat of a tropical summer will be happier than one born in the middle of an icy night in winter. The destiny of those born under this sign is so sensitive to the inclemencies of climate that the almanac warns Snakes born on a stormy day that they will face danger throughout their lives.

Well, I do have a fairly-advanced case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. And I don’t recall what the weather was like the day I was born; I wasn’t allowed to go outside back then.

There’s a lot more to the description, but I think I can dismiss it with a hiss or two.





6 comments

  1. McGehee »

    7 February 2009 · 9:14 am

    I have no idea what my Chinese zodiac thingie is. I suppose I could find out.

    I suppose.

  2. Tatyana »

    7 February 2009 · 9:29 am

    My Chinese zodiac profile is about 15.5% right. I suppose it could be said if I substituted my sign for any other.

  3. fillyjonk »

    7 February 2009 · 9:42 am

    I’m a rooster. Some of the things seem true, but the one – about female roosters preferring the company of other females – isn’t exactly true. I find a lot of the female- heavy stuff gets so damn catty. With men, at least they come right out and tell you if you’re being an idiot, they don’t dance around it and then call all of their friends to talk behind your back about what an idiot you are.

    Also the whole thing about being clothes-conscious makes me kind of go “what the heck”?

  4. Tatyana »

    7 February 2009 · 9:56 am

    FJ: so, we can legitimately call you a chick?

  5. sya »

    7 February 2009 · 10:52 am

    It plays to my sense of vanity when it says I’m clever, but it is clearly wrong when it also says that I have a fetish for bananas and that I should avoid snakes.

  6. fillyjonk »

    9 February 2009 · 7:10 am

    Heh. I guess, Tat, though I hardly qualify as “Spring Chicken” any more. I’m getting closer to “tough old bird” daily.

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