Meanwhile at 34th and Vine
It’s true, I might have been a flop with chicks — I’ve been this way since 1966 — but this alarms me somehow:
This time of year, people of all ages are either on Cloud Nine, dismissive of the consumerist event called Valentine’s Day or constructing voodoo dolls of past significant others.
For those who fall into the category of love haters, a new drug that can make people fall in and out of love is in the early stages of testing, and its development may be a one-way ticket to controlling romantic emotion.
The idea for this drug — and prospective vaccine — is based on the research of neuroscientist Dr. Larry Young. Young worked with animals called prairie voles, which are among the small minority of mammals — less than five percent — who share humans’ propensity for monogamy.
However, prairie voles don’t share humans’ propensity for beating themselves over the head in February for being dateless again, dammit. Still:
When a female prairie vole’s brain is artificially infused with oxytocin, a hormone that produces neural rewards comparable to those created by substances such as nicotine and cocaine, she will quickly become attached to the nearest male. A related hormone, vasopressin, creates urges for bonding and nesting in male voles.
The research also revealed that male voles with a genetically limited vasopressin response were less likely to find mates. Young’s corresponding research found that men with a similar genetic tendency were less likely to commit.
Theoretically, if used to its fullest potential, the drug could effectively harness these chemicals and be used to make people experience emotions of love. Conversely, it could also be used to prevent people from feeling such sentiments simply by receiving an injection of the substance.
Of course, guys who want to limit their vasopressin response on the fly, as it were, need only to get stinking drunk, which will indeed make them less likely to find mates.
Given my long-standing propensity to fall exceedingly hard for people who aren’t the slightest bit interested in me, I suppose I’m a candidate for the negative version of the drug, though I bet it smells like turpentine and looks like India ink.
(Via Fark. Thanks to Leiber and Stoller.)
fillyjonk »
14 February 2009 · 8:16 am
I’m sorry but EW. The whole idea of there being a “love drug” squicks me out.
I suppose that despite the several layers of cynical shells I’ve built for self-protection, I am kind of a romantic at heart, and would like to think that’s it’s more than just brain chemistry. (Though I’ve read that the early stages of love are something similar to OCD, and from my very limited experience I would be inclined to agree).
I guess my song-based sentiments go a few decades earlier than yours: to quote Billie Holiday, “I’ve locked my heart and thrown away the key.”
McGehee »
14 February 2009 · 9:15 am
I’m visualizing vast hordes of recently medicated individuals hanging out at 34th and Vine, prime targets for a crime wave because that cop, he ain’t going anywhere near the place.
CGHill »
14 February 2009 · 10:10 am
On my first trip to Los Angeles, I found myself on Vine Street, and decided to head southward to 34th. Never quite got there. (Vine apparently peters out around Melrose.)
Having recycled that old memory, I fired up Google Maps, determined that Vine was the 5800 block West, and headed for 5800 W. 34th St., which doesn’t exist either: it seems to fall somewhere in the middle of the Baldwin Hills Recreation Center.
Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, I conclude, chose this address for prosodic reasons, not as a guide to the location of gypsies.
(Getting back to the topic, in a lifetime I’ve met exactly one woman who’d appreciate the line of thinking displayed in the previous paragraphs, and, well, that’s not happening.)
Tatyana »
14 February 2009 · 10:35 am
Are you kidding? You are a Man That Consulted A Map When Lost!
Not an Endangered Species (that would be “asking a native”), but pretty unique nevertheless.
CGHill »
14 February 2009 · 10:48 am
There’s a 20-year gap between making the original trip and consulting the map, so don’t go thinking I’m some sort of mutant.
Although during my entire stay in southern California, I kept a Thomas Bros. map close at hand, just in case.
Tatyana »
14 February 2009 · 3:58 pm
Better late than never.
Kirk »
16 February 2009 · 11:55 am
C’mon, Chaz — close your eyes, hold your nose, take a drink! You know the drill.