The owners of the Minnesota Vikings want $700 million in public funding for a new stadium. Minnesota doesn’t have $700 million to spare right this minute.
The state pays $700 million, but we get the team, too. Every play will be put through a subcommittee. Games will occasionally adjourn for a week. The Senate and the House will hammer out a compromise resolution that agrees to pass for 16 yards on the third down, but gives up five yards for a penalty. “I think we have a play we can all live with,” said the House majority leader, signaling an end to a stalemate that had kept the game going for six weeks. The bill also calls for one yard to be distributed to high school football teams throughout the state, provided matching federal funds kick in another two inches.
This would never work in the NBA, if only because there’s a 24-second shot clock: no legislator ever voted on anything other than a pay raise for legislators in less than 24 seconds.
Besides, as those of us here in Oklahoma City spending $125 million to spruce up our $90-million sports arena must admit, it’s a never-ending process, as Lileks already realizes:
Not only are we five years behind building a new home for the Vikings, this means we’re five years behind building the one they’ll want after that. The one with holographic refs and an anti-gravity field in the end zone for really spectacular touchdown celebrations.
And anyway, it’s not like a team from Minnesota is going to flee to Los Angeles or something.