For all I know, she can even cook

Los Angeles Sparks forward Candace Parker is on the cover of the current ESPN The Magazine, and Allison Glock’s cover story wants to make it perfectly clear that the WNBA star is a major hottie:

Candace Parker is beautiful. Breathtaking, really, with flawless skin, endless legs and a C cup she is proud of but never flaunts. She is also the best at what she does, a record-setter, a rule-breaker, a redefiner. She is a woman who plays like a man, one of the boys, if the boys had C cups and flawless skin. She’s nice, too. Sweet, even. Kind to animals and children, she is the sort of woman who worries about others more than about herself, a saint in high-tops.

Far be it from me to dispute any of these assertions, and I am not one to start shrieking SEXIST! when I see things like that in print, but can you imagine an article about a male player starting that way?

Well, actually, Arash Markazi can, and it would look something like this:

Kobe Bryant is beautiful. Breathtaking, really, with flawless skin, endless legs and six-pack abs he is proud of but never flaunts. He is also the best at what he does, a record-setter, a rule-breaker, a redefiner. He is a man who plays like a man amongst boys, if the boys had six-pack abs and flawless skin. He’s nice, too. Sweet, even. Kind to animals and children, he is the sort of man who worries about others more than about himself, a saint in high-tops.

In the best of all possible worlds, I suppose, both those paragraphs would be equally grating. And you know, Parker’s a forward, while Bryant’s a guard; I’d expect her legs to be a tad more endless than his, even though he’s two inches taller.





3 comments

  1. Kay Dennison »

    18 March 2009 · 12:37 am

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh my!!!!!!!!!! And they didn’t even mention her height. Weird. But from a woman of a certain age — like me — I find that amazing. When I was in high school (when varsity basketball was only for boys) I was taller than half the guys on the basketball team back when 6’0″ or above was tall. I was about 5’10” and caught hell in intramural girls’ basketball because I blocked too many shots. My dad — the 6’3″ semi-pro basketball player — liked my height while my mother despaired of my “tomboy” inclinations throughout my childhood — I swung a mean hockey stick too.

    So what’s the big deal here? Cup size? I have a C, too but it looks smaller on a 6’4″ lady. At almost 62, I joke that since gravity set in,
    I might even be a normal-sized woman by the time I die but guess what? I simply don’t care anymore. AND I still get ragged about my height by the insecure males in this world.

    I got picked on most of my life by both men and women because I was too tall. Still do. I’ve never been about my height, etc. and neither is Ms. Parker although in her job it counts . It’s about doing what she does well. I personally congratulate her.

    I congratulate her and to hell with the rest.

  2. Kay Dennison »

    18 March 2009 · 12:39 am

    And oh yeah, not to be crude, no one ever mentions the other cup size. (BLUSH!!!!)

  3. CGHill »

    18 March 2009 · 6:52 am

    I mentioned her height in the first draft, but deleted it before posting. She’s six foot four.

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