I don’t think I’m going to try this myself, but what the hell:
The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor league baseball team, will be offering up major league cholesterol, carbohydrates and calories in an enormous hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark. The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 8-inch sesame-seed bun. That’s a lot of dough!
Unfortunately, I am no longer allowed sesame seeds. Otherwise, I could see myself saying something like this:
I know what you’re thinking — “Finally, I can get a 4-pound burger at a ballgame! Oh, and a Diet Coke, please!”
Then again, I have known some semi-serious trenchermen in my day — more so than I, anyway — but even they might balk at this.
Oh, and if “Fifth Third” makes your cognition that much more dissonant, try this.