Pickle presumably unheld
I don’t think I’m going to try this myself, but what the hell:
The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor league baseball team, will be offering up major league cholesterol, carbohydrates and calories in an enormous hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark. The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 8-inch sesame-seed bun. That’s a lot of dough!
Unfortunately, I am no longer allowed sesame seeds. Otherwise, I could see myself saying something like this:
I know what you’re thinking — “Finally, I can get a 4-pound burger at a ballgame! Oh, and a Diet Coke, please!”
Then again, I have known some semi-serious trenchermen in my day — more so than I, anyway — but even they might balk at this.
Oh, and if “Fifth Third” makes your cognition that much more dissonant, try this.
fillyjonk »
26 March 2009 · 7:50 am
Will they serve the Sextuple-Sextuple Stuf Oreos along with it?
Fifth Third bank is a really odd name. My father (who grew up in Western Michigan) claims it’s the result of a long-ago merger, but I’m not sure where he got his information from and if it’s even accurate.
CGHill »
26 March 2009 · 9:15 am
He’s right: the Fifth National Bank and the Third National Bank were fused into one, and “Fifth Third” sounded funny, but “Third Fifth” sounded like they’d been hitting the bottle.
fillyjonk »
26 March 2009 · 9:41 am
And I suppose adding them, and getting “Eighth National Bank” didn’t sound very good either.
Tatyana »
26 March 2009 · 5:43 pm
But how the names composed of various numericals+National Bank came to be? Was there ever a nationwide index of regional banks called National, and in that index two of the banks in question took the subsequent lines?
It sounds so bizarre…like the multitude of companies, no matter the industry, who calls themselves A1American, or some such.
McGehee »
26 March 2009 · 6:06 pm
Usually, I believe, the full name included the appropriate locale, either the city or the state — not unlike the many towns where you’ll find a First [insert denom here] Church of [insert town name here].
I’ll admit I never really thought there was such a thing as a Second National Bank, let alone Third or Fifth — I thought the additional numbers were a Warner Brothers cartoon joke. Who would want to be the Ninth National Bank? Or the Eleventh?
And Thirteenth, well that’s right out.
CGHill »
26 March 2009 · 6:29 pm
Both Tulsa and Wichita had Fourth National Banks; the Kansas institution eventually mutated into “Bank IV,” and its parent company, Fourth Financial, wound up buying the Tulsa Fourth.
Then there was the Midwestern giant Bank One, acquired by JPMorgan Chase in ’04. Oklahoma City has a Bank 2 and a Bank 7.
And generally, a National bank is so named because it is chartered by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency; the legal name must contain either the word “National” or the abbreviation “N.A.” for National Association. Other banks are usually chartered by their home state.
unimpressed »
26 March 2009 · 7:54 pm
Mayhap it has something to do with 1, 2, 3, 5 and 7 being “prime”…..
fillyjonk »
27 March 2009 · 6:25 am
Considering the phenomenon of commenting on some sites (I Can Has Cheezburger is one example), I can now imagine a would-be bank manager walking into a newly founded town, setting up a storefront, and then claiming, “FIRST!!!!!”
And then other bank managers coming in and arguing about it, or telling him he’s not cool (or other less-printable things) for caring about matters of precedence.