The power of bacon
Can your flavor-free, government-approved snack do this?
I was that dog … running laps around a table saying “baconbaconbaconbaconbaconbacon … BACON!!” So I had some bacon. You know, prior to vegetarianism I hated bacon. When it came to pork I was disinterested. Chops were rammed down my throat with a side of menacing threat and sausage could only be in link form. But once I took a bite of that bacon today? Everything gray turned to a beautiful blue. The sun peeked out a little more and birds chirped on my shoulders. And little mice started doing my chores while dwarves whistled while I worked. I think “delicious” is the word I’m looking for here.
There exists fake bacon — let’s call it “facon” — but don’t even think about it.
Kay Dennison »
20 May 2009 · 10:46 am
Hallelujah and Amen!!!!! You said it well!!!!
Tatyana »
20 May 2009 · 11:43 am
I think there is something wrong with the guy’s endocrine system. Fine, he cleansed his body from meat proteins by not eating meat…but to do it for years? No wonder he had so strong reaction to a piece of fried pig fat. Why would somebody rape his natural instincts for so long?
Besides, what’s his vegetarianism has to do with being a “dirty commie”? Does he even know what a “commie” is? Would he be surprised if somebody explained to him that “commies” sent “hippies” to jail,on criminal charge of being a parasite to society?
Ideology, especially the misunderstood left ideology, makes perverts out of healthy people.
Lisa Paul »
20 May 2009 · 3:34 pm
Tatyana,
I think the essay was humorous — tongue in cheek when that tongue wasn’t wrapped around a slab of bacon. And I believe the writer is female. Unless he went to a very liberal Girl Scout camp.
CGHill »
20 May 2009 · 3:49 pm
It’s a she. (We’ve corresponded briefly; she’s posted a couple of comments here.) I spent a few hours in a Girl Scout camp once, but that’s a story I’d just as soon sidestep for now. (Besides, it’s not that interesting.)
Lisa Paul »
20 May 2009 · 4:15 pm
Her mention that she spent 13 years in Girl Scout camp was the first clue. THe second was her admission to an obsession with Coach handbags. Her picture on her profile clinched it.
Tatyana »
20 May 2009 · 5:25 pm
Humorous? Really? No kidding? gee, I wouldn’t ever guess – w/o that pointer from above.
My thought about endocrine troubles looks more likely, with that revelation. When a girl [scout, scout, I got it] kisses a girl or three – you can practically bet on it.
Joseph Hertzlinger »
21 May 2009 · 12:52 am
IMHO, the fake bacon tastes like smoked and salted cardboard.
Heather B. »
21 May 2009 · 11:20 am
Wow, Tatyana, such a strong reaction over a stupid piece about bacon. Hope that removing that stick from your ass isn’t too painful!
Tatyana »
21 May 2009 · 11:41 am
“Stupid piece” IS right.
Er…stick? You can’t even weave a personal slight in convincingly.
I don’t have an “ass”. Also, I don’t “shit”, don’t “fuck” and don’t think “bitch” is a compliment. You and me, we are totally different species, Heather B.
CGHill »
21 May 2009 · 11:58 am
Let’s not have this turn into a Congressional subcommittee meeting, now.
Tatyana »
21 May 2009 · 12:08 pm
Oh, no, Chaz, there is no danger of it – with such pulchritudinous oratory from your commentariat.
CGHill »
21 May 2009 · 5:13 pm
I am amused to see that this thread has been tweeted.