Beyond Six Sigma
We’ve now evolved to Eight Epsilon:
Pursuant to Directive 1D/0T of our Eight Epsilon quality prevention system, the Standardization Committee for Unified Management has determined that employees of the Company may be reprimanded for actions including (but not limited to) the following:
- below-average performance, average performance, and/or above-average performance,
- not following Instructions, and/or following Instructions,
- not giving the customer what (s)he requested, and/or giving the customer what (s)he requested,
- thinking inside the Box, thinking outside the Box, not thinking inside the Box, not thinking outside the Box, and/or thinking whatsoever on Company time,
- failure to Suck Up.
Apparently sucking in other directions is still acceptable.
And remember: you can’t have arbitration that isn’t arbitrary.
McGehee »
31 May 2009 · 10:49 am
I used to think the best part of being self-employed was that I could write my own employee evaluations. Unfortunately I ended up having to fire myself.
Jeffro »
31 May 2009 · 12:30 pm
Management will always see sucking up as a good thang.
fillyjonk »
1 June 2009 · 6:35 am
Quite Brave and New of them to refer to Epsilon in relation to employees and how they feel about them…
Brian J. »
1 June 2009 · 8:24 am
You know the worst part about being self-employed and hiring your wife? The credible threat of a sexual harassment claim.
QA Hates You » Blog Archive » Two Better Than Six Sigma »
1 June 2009 · 12:56 pm
[...] (Link seen on Dustbury.) [...]
hatless in hattiesburg »
2 June 2009 · 1:26 pm
re “sucking in other directions is still acceptable” – acceptable? it’s encouraged! after 5 years there, the wide variety of suckage still amazes me. ;)
thanks for the link.