iNietzsche

Well, actually, it’s called HorizonOne™, and it’s the first truly nihilist iPhone app:

When you first run it, it won’t even open. The icon will pulse and move — seeming, almost, to grow — before becoming still, cold, and dead. The color will fade from it — a condition that will spread to other icons nearby.

The more you use it, the more it uses you:

The shopping list you keep in Notes will be amended — “milk, eggs, deliver my eternal soul from nothingness.” Horizon One™ will send you e-mails from a you that is apparently drifting in a void, asking for help. They will become increasingly desperate, and frenzied. You will receive these e-mails until you realize that the void is life, and you are caught in its grip. Upon this epiphany, Horizon One™ will brick your phone, allowing you to see only the lock screen. The wallpaper has changed — a picture of you, in chains, forever screaming. Slide to unlock. Slide to unlock.

And inevitably:

Also Twitter integration.

But of course.

(Recommended by Patti.)





5 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    6 July 2009 · 11:00 am

    “When you first run it, it won’t even open. The icon will pulse and move — seeming, almost, to grow — before becoming still, cold, and dead. The color will fade from it — a condition that will spread to other icons nearby. ”

    Ah, so Bill Gates is a nihilist. That explains a lot.

  2. CGHill »

    6 July 2009 · 11:14 am

    Which makes me wonder if Windows 7 isn’t really, um, Windows 6.66.

  3. McGehee »

    6 July 2009 · 1:05 pm

    With that one particular generation of Pentium chips (I wonder how many remember the ones I mean?), they’d be about equal.

  4. CGHill »

    6 July 2009 · 7:10 pm

    I remember a snarky slogan from that era: “665.9999999999787: the Intel floating-point number of the Beast.”

    (Bug analysis here, for you completists.)

  5. McGehee »

    7 July 2009 · 12:41 pm

    Indeed. The series of “…of the Beast” jokes in which I saw that may be the only reason I still remember it. Satire is indeed the engine of cultural memory.

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