Appalling XI

Hang the expense, bring on the launch:

If America wants to get back on the right track, scientific space mission-wise, we need to once again pick an inspiring, audacious goal, and man it with the kind of inspirational crew to make it happen. At long last, let us realize mankind’s most cherished dream — sending the entire United States Congress to the Moon by 2010.

We could call it a, um, crash program.

(Frank J. was unavailable for comment.)







10 comments

  1. McGehee »

    21 July 2009 · 9:44 am

    What did the Moon ever do to us?

  2. Kay Dennison »

    21 July 2009 · 10:13 am

    I like it but I think McGehee makles an excellent point. Let’s just send ‘em to Iraq. Er . . . wait! My Congress critter’s already been there — twice! However, if I have my way he’ll be a one-term Comgressman. I vote against people who doin’t call back — cute smile or not..

  3. fillyjonk »

    21 July 2009 · 10:42 am

    “Zip, bang, to the moon”?

  4. fillyjonk »

    21 July 2009 · 10:42 am

    (Sadly none of the worst congressional offenders are named Alice…)

  5. McGehee »

    21 July 2009 · 11:05 am

    My Congress critter’s already been there — twice!

    Dang customs people keep letting ‘em come back, that’s the problem.

  6. Tom »

    21 July 2009 · 11:13 am

    “Congress, go at throttle-up.”

  7. Ed Flinn »

    21 July 2009 · 12:40 pm

    No need for budget-busting rocket fuel either, Congress can rise, Montgolfier-like, under their own aero-thermal propulsion!

  8. fillyjonk »

    21 July 2009 · 2:07 pm

    Hoist on their own petard (or maybe that should be their own pêt*,) I suppose?

    (*Yes, I realize that emission typically comes out of the orifice opposite the one Congress is always shooting off, but still….)

    (Apropos of nothing other than my being psychologically 12, there is an entire “fart thesaurus” online that contains the various euphemisms, jokes, and some foreign names for them…)

  9. Closet Atheist »

    21 July 2009 · 2:16 pm

    Fillyjonk: Yes, I realize that emission typically comes out of the orifice opposite the one Congress is always shooting off>

    Just turn them upside-down until you reach orbit. In zero-g there is no ‘up’, so then you can just point them at Earth and watch them propel themselves away.

  10. Kirk »

    22 July 2009 · 8:21 am

    We wouldn’t have to send them all the way to the moon. Just strand them at a LaGrange point until they run outta air.

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