No thanks, I’ll drive
Even though I don’t have this particular issue to face:
I frequently have trouble with the TSA while flying, so coming back from Asheville, NC I opted to pack my knee brace rather than deal with the hassle of wearing it through security. But apparently that wasn’t good enough: I set off the metal detector anyway.
I took off my watch and my rings. The only thing I kept was my glasses and my piercings. I still beeped.
So it’s off to Double Secret Extra Sooper-Special Screening, which gets old very, very quickly.
At each step of the process the TSA agent (a woman) asked if I’d rather be searched in private. I declined, thinking that if they were willing to grope me in public, what more would they want to do in private?
Meanwhile, my carry-on and purse were being searched. The most exciting thing they found there was a bottle of tranquilizers with my name on them and a bag of various psych meds that would string them out for a week if they confiscated them to try. Still, they pulled everything out, then had to work to stuff it all back in.
It occurs to me that the situations the TSA hopes to avoid could probably be dealt with more efficiently by empowering the crew of the aircraft to take action against actual offenders, to the extent of actually ordering them off the plane.
In mid-flight, if need be.
But this isn’t going to happen, because it’s easier to swipe fresh prey from a leopard than it is to take a newly-acquired power away from government. So we’ll continue to have stories like this:
When we’re not traveling it’s easy to forget just how many rights we’ve given away to minimum wage workers in paramilitary uniforms. Had they decided to detain me further, I could still be sitting in Asheville, or in jail.
All because my underwire bra beeped.
In the meantime, I drive, where the worst thing I’m likely to encounter is a perfunctory check by the Border Patrol, on the off-chance that I happen to be somewhere near the, um, border.
Suzette »
26 July 2009 · 6:02 pm
I am still not over the trauma of having my hand-tooled leather cosmetic case STOLEN BY THE TSA. My suitcase gets inspected on every trip I take because it’s loaded with canisters of hairspray and many portable electronics with cords and plugs – very exciting for the baggage scan people. Opportunity – check! Motive (envy)- check! And a victimized lady business traveler who cannot get over the violation.
Incidentally, I was on the DO NOT FLY list for about a year when the common knowledge had it that the second wave of terrorist attacks would be carried out by the blond female dupes of Mid-eastern masterminds. My husband is Egyptian and our very common name was on the list of suspects. Fun times being looked over, questioned and judged by people who couldn’t get any other job 3 months before. Missed lots of meetings during that time.
But I’m more upset over the cosmetic case.
KimT »
26 July 2009 · 6:13 pm
My favorite time that I was stopped was because I had a flashlight in my carry on. I had stopped at a local K-mart while visiting the beach so that I could walk on the beach at night. If I had known what kind of problem it was going to be I would have taken my chances on the moonlight!
Donna B. »
26 July 2009 · 7:40 pm
None of it makes sense. I’ve boarded an airplane with an actual weapon in my carryon that raised no suspicion at all. In fact, I had three of them in there.
Rocks are OK with the TSA.
fillyjonk »
26 July 2009 · 8:17 pm
The last few times my dad flew – a 70ish, German/Irish American man with (I think) a generally kind and non-threatening appearance, who has bad knees and needs a cane and/or other assistance – he was made to take off his shoes. And do other stuff. It’s harder for him to deal with that kind of stuff, because getting down on his knees to un-tie or re-tie shoes may mean he’s not getting back up without several people assisting him. But still, they do those things to him.
Simply because they could.
(Many years ago – 1979? perhaps – he was trying to fly back from field camp with a rock pick in his carry on (which he forgot was there). The screeners laughed and gave him a box so it could ride in the hold with the other potentially dangerous things. Today, I doubt they’d laugh. And I doubt he’d get to keep the rock pick.)
I haven’t flown since 1999, and the more stories I hear, the less I want to fly. Because travel (especially air travel) stresses me out immensely, and my usual response to being completely stressed out is to either break down and cry, or get snappish, I’m sure I’d be hauled off for the extra-special-search-and-possible-detention.
As for no-fly lists: the seven year old son of a colleague is on one, because he (apparently) shares a name with a terrorist. (Based on his name, I’m guessing the guy has to be IRA). So this tiny child (he’s small for his age) with spectacles and a respectful/precocious manner steps up to the counter and is harassed as a possible terrorist.
Donna B. »
27 July 2009 · 1:09 am
fillyjonk — if you thought flying was bad in 1999… well, just don’t even think about trying it now. (Doesn’t sound like you will!)
First class isn’t even fun anymore.
Closet Atheist »
27 July 2009 · 4:14 am
Sounds like a friend-of-a-friend who made the No-Fly list for have the same name of a terrorist who was executed 3 months before 9/11, Timothy McVeigh. He doesn’t even try to fly anymore.
fillyjonk »
27 July 2009 · 7:22 am
Donna B: That’s why I pray for continued Amtrak funding. At least they don’t make me partially disrobe before getting on the train.