Mor chikin jokes
People are so curious these days:
In Washington, D.C. and its snoburbs, people cannot have a more than two-minute conversation that does not include, “So, what do you do?” The meta-message is 1.) “What is your level of accomplishment as compared to mine?” and, 2.) “Should I bother continuing this chat?”
“Accomplishment,” perhaps, is in the eye of the beholder. Still, what is needed here is a way to deflect attention elsewhere, particularly if you don’t want to talk about it, which I don’t. For example:
There are many media elites living in the overclass snoburbs of D.C. And at a party, people want to talk to them only about their work. So, a reporter I know responds to the what-do-you-do inquiry with, “I work at Chick-fil-A.” This often is met with a wan smile and a hasty exit toward the canapés.
Variations on this theme are possible:
The writer Mark Helprin, when asked by fellow airplane passengers what he does for a living, tells people, “I sell industrial fluids.”
Don’t try this yourself, though, in case he’s copyrighted it.
fillyjonk »
19 October 2009 · 7:40 pm
And then there’s a sort of reverse snobbery: Upon telling people I’m a biology professor, I frequently get either of these responses:
(a) “OMG….a BRAIN.” (and then they back away slowly)
(b) “I hated biology when I was in school.” (Thanks for sharing. Please don’t hate me because of what I do)
( c). Simply backing away in (mock, I hope) fear, apparently because of my imagined-to-be-enormous mental powers.
Honestly, some days I wonder if I should just tell people I’m in the steno pool. Maybe they’d still talk to me then. Except they’d probably ask my opinion on Selectrics or something and then I’d be caught flat-footed.
sya »
19 October 2009 · 7:49 pm
This advice would only be useful if the other person even deigns to talk to you in the first place.
As a graduate student, I always get asked, “When will you graduate?” And I always refuse to answer.
Sheri »
19 October 2009 · 8:25 pm
I remember being taught that it was rude to ask someone “what they do.” Or to discuss money in ANY way.
Carbon date me now.
Morgan K Freeberg »
19 October 2009 · 8:44 pm
Yep. Here’s another experiment to try, but unfortunately it can be nothing more than a mental exercise:
Try to figure out what you’d have to tell ‘em to get their approval. Guy that photographs the food for Denny’s menus? Fox News commentator? You paint the dashed white line between the lanes on the freeway? Soap opera star?
There isn’t anything. The question itself is a brush-off.
Lydia »
19 October 2009 · 9:37 pm
The worst one was when I quit my job with a fancy title, and had to answer, “I stay at home with my new baby.” I could see the glaze appear in the eyes, instantly, as if by magic.
(fillyjonk – I’d love to talk to a Biology professor!)
Jeffro »
19 October 2009 · 9:58 pm
Shoveler of beef byproduct?
Dick Stanley »
20 October 2009 · 1:11 am
Industrial fluids. Are those the ones that transmit HIV?
McGehee »
20 October 2009 · 9:39 am
I tell people I write. And they ask me what I write.
Sometimes I’m tempted to reply, “Illegal prescriptions.”