The height retort
Real women, Linda Grant insists, wear flats:
It is perfectly all right to wear ugly, clumpy clothes when you are 16, but if you wear them when you are 50 it might look as if you never understood style in the first place, or have given up, surrendering to the idea that you can wear a red hat with a purple dress, on the spurious grounds that you are old and what does it matter because no one wants to look at you anyway.
But my God, those shoes were comfortable. It was like wearing slippers. I gave in and bought two pairs: patent T-bars with a spongy wedge, and black leather Mary Janes. Experimentally trying the Mary Janes out on a day when a friend wanted me to accompany her to the flagship Marks & Spencer at Marble Arch, so she could examine every single item of stock, I kept interrogating my feet: “OK down there? Still holding up?” But my feet were doing the job of carrying me around without complaint; they had fallen into silence. By the end of the day I had totally forgotten about them.
Try that with a five-inch heel. Apparently it’s all a con by the fashion industry:
Every woman is supposed to adore gorgeous shoes. Of course it is absolutely correct that they make your legs look longer and your hips slimmer, but if your legs can only be elongated while you’re standing or sitting down, there doesn’t seem much point to them. I love the extra height heels give me. I like being able to look men in the eye. I like the look of beautiful shoes, but until the manufacturers start including a sedan chair and two attendants with each purchase, I shall wear ugly shoes.
Of course, I only put this up to inflame tensions between fanciers of flats and defenders of the lofty. As to what I prefer, well, that depends on what else you’re wearing, doesn’t it?
Lynn »
9 November 2009 · 1:32 pm
I’ve always been unfashionable and proud of it! A two inch heel is just about my limit but I very rarely go even that high. Comfortable shoes need not be ugly. Dressy, comfortable low-heeled shoes are hard to find but they do exist. It also helps if you wear the right size. I read somewhere that 80 percent of all women wear shoes that are too small. First thing, if the shoe hurts try a larger size.
fillyjonk »
9 November 2009 · 3:25 pm
I usually wear flatter shoes but I have noticed that my walk is distinctly more duck-like (and therefore, not as appealing to anyone whose given name isn’t Daffy or Donald) in flats than in low heels.
High heels (>2 1/2″) I have not tried as I suspect I’d fall, due to balance issues (too many unresolved ear infections as a child)
Donna B. »
9 November 2009 · 3:42 pm
I wear Crocs. With socks. My left ankle/foot has been injured so many times (first at age 4) that I have only twice in my life even tried to wear shoes with heels over 1 1/2″.
Red hat, purple dress, black crocs with… oh let’s go all out and wear green socks! Yeah, I’d do that.
fillyjonk »
9 November 2009 · 4:08 pm
I have a magnet on my fridge that says something like, “When I get old, I will wear purple….but NEVER with a red hat.”
That pretty much sums up how I feel about it. Even though I think I’ve probably hit the “invisible” age. Or am at least close.
Deborah »
9 November 2009 · 7:16 pm
The only time my feet don’t hurt is when they are floating in the bath tub. Last month I decided to buy all new shoes. All New Shoes. I am at eight pairs and counting. None of them have heels higher than one inch.
I also decided recently, after shopping for a suitable dress to wear to an afternoon wedding in October that was to be held outdoors #$%&#?% to never wear dresses in public again—a la Kate Hepburn.
So I shall adorn myself in floaty tailored trousers that are anything but masculine, and dress my feets in pretty little shoes that are uber feminine, if flat, because the rest of me is not. Husband is happy if I am happy. I have served my time in hell—I mean heels.
Kay Dennison »
9 November 2009 · 9:28 pm
I’ve never been comfortable in really high heels. At 5′10″ — and most of my height is because I have long legs — I have no need to look taller. I was blessed to receive tall and thin genes from my dad. I’ve never worn heels higher than 3 inches in my life and only wore 3 inch heels if it was a modelling assignment in my youth. I like 1-1 1/2 inch heels best — they’re comfortable for me. I’m 62 now and comfort takes precedence over fashion. I hate shopping for shoes because just looking at the shoes on the market these days make my feet hurt or are plain damned ugly.
Zimriel »
9 November 2009 · 10:28 pm
Unfashionability will present you as a “nerd girl”. You will be surrounded by male geeks. If that’s what you want, go for it.
/male geek
CGHill »
10 November 2009 · 6:51 pm
I asked Trini about this, and she cops to the “nerd girl” tag; there is, she says, a small but recognizable subset of the male half of the species who will willingly crawl through the desert in midsummer for just such a female. I am inclined to believe her.