Bucking for a Bronze Medal
This Federal Tanning Tax notion does nothing for Tam’s sunny disposition:
[T]o call the tanning industry “wildly unregulated” would be wildly understated. In fact, terming the agglomeration of tanning beds in double wides and the backs of laundromats an “industry” is stretching the term until it makes dangerous creaking and groaning noises.
How is this National Tanning Tax going to be administered? How is it going to be collected? Are we going to get a new branch of the IRS? No doubt there will be special National Tanning Tax enforcement agents, with guns. And their own SWAT team. I can’t wait to see the shoulder patches; maybe they’ll have a bust of George Hamilton in profile.
“Martha, quick! The revenuers! Hide the tanning bed under the Christmas tree box!”
It could be worse. (And, since it’s the government, it will be. Count on it.) When revenue expectations are not met, you can expect to see Darkness Panels set up nationwide, to screen individuals for telltale signs of tan. We will argue that we acquired this coloration by nothing more than ordinary yard work, but in vain. The only good thing about this is that they’re bound to bust Charlie Crist for being prematurely orange.
CGHill »
21 December 2009 · 9:07 pm
I must tack on this suggestion by one of Tam’s commenters:
Divemedic for the win.
McGehee »
21 December 2009 · 10:42 pm
Yes.
unimpressed »
22 December 2009 · 1:56 am
Thirded.