And there’s always “Louie, Louie”

“Every Breath You Take” gets played at weddings, fergoshsakes, and it’s about as inappropriate a tune for such an occasion as can possibly be imagined: the lyrics practically scream “Stalker!” I see it as being more generally Orwellian, but then again, we’re supposed to love Big Brother, right?

And if it’s not the least-appropriate wedding song ever, how about …

My friend picked “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys 4 her wedding song. Why would u pick a song that starts “I may not always love you”?

As tweeted by Riki Lindhome, the leggier half of Garfunkel & Oates.

I might worry that her friend might actually be thinking realistically instead of romantically; as the Boys noted two songs later on Pet Sounds, “Love is here today and it’s gone tomorrow / It’s here and gone so fast.”

But lyricist Tony Asher knew what he was doing with that opening line. It’s that old perception-versus-reality thing again: you might want to question my devotion at some point, but ultimately “I’ll make you so sure about it.” And really, have you ever seen a couple this side of Darby and Joan who didn’t occasionally have their differences? “The couples cling and claw and drown in love’s debris,” noted Carly Simon (and/or Jacob Brackman) several years later. But still they cling.

So “God Only Knows,” as the young folks used to say, tells it like it is. By all means, play the record. Everybody in the place will be singing along before the instrumental break anyway.





5 comments

  1. Cindy »

    15 January 2010 · 12:12 pm

    We didn’t have music at our reception, but if we had then “Baby, I love you” by the Yayhoos would have been played. Probably right before we left, but still.

  2. fillyjonk »

    15 January 2010 · 12:20 pm

    As the second and third lines of “God Only Knows” are “As long as there are stars above you/you never need to doubt it,” I always interpreted the first line in that context, in other words, “I may not ALWAYS love you, but it’s pretty damn unlikely that I won’t.”

  3. McGehee »

    15 January 2010 · 1:17 pm

    Many, many years ago I was halfway through the second chorus of “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” before I saw the look on my then-girlfriend’s face and came to my senses.

  4. Baby M »

    15 January 2010 · 4:03 pm

    I was at a wedding where the bridal dance was “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” It was the bride’s favorite song–she wasn’t thinking about the lyrics.

  5. robohara »

    15 January 2010 · 4:06 pm

    A couple of years ago I DJ’ed a friend of mine’s wedding. We compiled a list of must-have songs, and shortly after that we went through my mp3 collection and removed the following songs:

    ACDC – You Shook Me All Night Long
    Aerosmith – Love In An Elevator
    Atlantic Star – Secret Lovers
    Billy Idol – White Wedding – Parts I & II (Shot Gun Mix)
    Billy Squier – My Kinda Lover
    Billy Squier – The Stroke
    Bulletboys – Smooth Up In Ya
    Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats
    Chicago – If She Would Have Been Faithful…
    David Lee Roth – Just a Gigolo & I Ain’t Got Nobody
    Elton John – The Bitch Is Back
    Foreigner – Feels Like the First Time
    George Michael – I Want Your Sex
    Greg Kihn Band – (Our Love’s in) Jeopardy
    Heart – All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
    J.Geils Band – Centerfold
    Jody Watley – Looking For A New Love
    Karyn White – Secret Rendezvous
    Madonna – Like A Virgin
    Olivia Newton John – Physical
    Pat Benatar – Love is a Battlefield
    Paula Abdul – Cold Hearted
    Poison – Fallen Angel
    Poison – Look What The Cat Dragged In
    Poison – Nothin’ But A Good Time
    Poison – Talk Dirty To Me
    Ready for the World – Oh Sheila
    Samantha Fox – I Wanna Have Some Fun
    Samantha Fox – Touch Me (I Want Your Body)
    Sly Fox – Let’s Go All The Way
    The Police – Don’t Stand So Close To Me
    Thompson Twins – Lies
    Tina Turner – Private Dancer
    U2 – Sunday Bloody Sunday
    Van Halen – Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love
    Van Halen – Hot for Teacher
    Van Halen – Running With The Devil
    Vanity 6 – Nasty Girl
    Waitresses – I Know What Boys Like
    Warrant – Cherry Pie

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