Lookin’ like a fool with your plants on the ground
The February Maxim has a very Maximesque list, titled “Dump Her with Flowers.” Among the undesirable posies: Phallus impudicus, the common stinkhorn, which technically isn’t a flower, and Hymenopus coronatus, the orchid mantis, which technically isn’t even a plant. Still, I have to figure that a bouquet of any of these, um, organisms will do the job, if the job you want to do contains the phrase “I don’t want to see you again.”
fillyjonk »
21 January 2010 · 2:57 pm
A person could probably put together a bouquet (it wouldn’t even have to be withered, but apparently that would send the message, too) based on what this site says.
Stapelias are probably not easily obtained, and Amorphophallus titanum is impractically sized, but I think either of those would pretty clearly send the message, “I think you stink.”
I dunno. I think a guy who chooses to dump a woman “with flowers” (rather than, I assume, talking with her face to face) probably didn’t deserve her in the first place (that goes double for dumpings-via-txt), but then again, what do I know? I have too much of a gooey romantic core covered over by too many layers of cynicism about love.
Meghan »
21 January 2010 · 3:25 pm
I guess flowers are better than nothing even stinky ones lol , I could be wrong on that !!!. One person whom dumped me many years ago never bothered to show up as he had promised.
Lisa Paul »
21 January 2010 · 7:08 pm
I thought the Rolling Stones had covered this subject definitively in “Dead Flowers”. Certainly cheaper than going all exotic.
If you want something else, but more easily obtainable, there is lots of Stinking Dog Fennel growing up here in Sonoma that I can sell you.
CGHill »
21 January 2010 · 7:23 pm
Which, I discover, isn’t even usable as the chamomile it superficially resembles (visually, anyway).
I was contemplating canceling my yard service this month. Now I’m starting to get antsy about some of these weeds.
LeeAnn »
21 January 2010 · 11:12 pm
I was once sent a bouquet of roses with all the heads cut off. I never heard from the guy again, which I think was the point, but I often wondered if it was a not-so-subtle comment/complaint on my refusal to *ahem* provide a certain south-of-the-beltborder service.
The vase was lovely, though.
Meghan »
22 January 2010 · 2:10 pm
I think I change my thinking better nothing than stinky flowers or any flowers ya a clean break easier on both people lol