Avoiding malparkage
I have been to Hoboken, New Jersey exactly once. (Believe me, I had my reasons.) I did not, however, attempt to park in the Mile Square City: it appeared that my one and only chance would have been to bring a parking space with me, in the manner of Acme’s Portable Hole, but not being a Super Genius, I couldn’t figure out a way to carry one in the trunk.
And apparently it wasn’t my imagination, either:
In recent decades, the city has been filled to the brim with cars parked parallel on street, double parked, triple parked (not so common nowadays), and further crippled by torturous three-year waiting lists for monthly spots at municipal lots where near-market rates are already well established (for the faint of heart, you might want to skip past this next piece of data: the price for a monthly space in a city-owned garage ranges from $180 to $215 per month). Efforts to protect pedestrians by enforcing sight-distances from intersections are met with heavy, emotional protest from weary drivers who hunt daily for a scant stretch of curb alongside which to wedge in their car.
It was less of a strain, I concluded, to book a room in North Bergen and take a cab into the midst of the fray. Once again, I was ahead of the trend:
Hoboken can leverage the large number of licensed taxis to make driving one’s personal car around town a silly idea. We are doing this by working with taxi owners and operators to identify locations for new pilot taxi stands, and to educate the public that hailing a cab is not just something to do in New York City.
Besides, unless you can claim Rand and McNally as dependents for tax purposes, a cabbie, even in New Jersey, is more likely to know the way around town.
Joan of Argghh! »
9 February 2010 · 7:19 pm
Malparkage is fine coinage, sir!
CGHill »
9 February 2010 · 7:31 pm
Not mine. This comes from a Simpsons episode, specifically from a NYC parking ticket:
Although, as neologisms go, it’s one of the most cromulent.
fillyjonk »
9 February 2010 · 7:33 pm
I’m thinking maybe there’s a special anti-hole Kevlar that they build the bags for carrying those portable holes in.
CGHill »
9 February 2010 · 8:14 pm
Now why didn’t I think of that?
(Right. Not a Super Genius.)
Dick Stanley »
9 February 2010 · 9:08 pm
Do portable holes come in all sizes? Do they sell them on Amazon?
McGehee »
10 February 2010 · 8:55 am
I think this outfit may be working on that technology. It seems to be right up their alley.