15 March 2003
File under "Duh"
Did you really need to ask?
Your humor is: yellow bile
When yellow bile dominates, an individual is quick to anger. Choleric personalities (cholera meaning yellow as in yellow fever) are often violent and vengeful.
Black Hellebore, which is known for its laxative properties, purges lower tracts of phlegm and choleric humors.
Avoid herbs with a bitter taste, as they are most likely to promote yellow bile.
Choler is hot and dry, begotten of the hotter parts of the chylus, and gathered to the gall. It helps the natural heat and senses.
(Muchas gracias: LAN3 at The Sound and Fury, whose humors are far better balanced than mine.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 9:14 AM)
6 October 2003
To no one's amazement
This Big Five Personality Test is currently making the rounds, and, well, how am I going to resist a deal like that?
Now go away before I have a panic attack.
Permalink to this item (posted at 11:36 AM)
24 October 2003
The Acidman quiz
Well, why the hell not? The original is here.
1) Does anybody really see a correlation between the size of a man's feet or his nose and the size of his penis?
I wear a size 14 shoe, and my glasses fit; I don't think there is any such correlation.
2) If you are a woman, would you ever get a tit-job? If so, why?
Not applicable, though if I were, I don't think I could afford a good one, and I don't think I could afford the misery of a bad one.
3) If you are a man, would you buy a bionic Roscoe if your dick quit working? If so, why?
It's not like the ol' YCB* is getting any kind of a workout anyway, so probably not.
4) Did you ever sleep with someone and wake up in the morning unable to remember their name? If not, WHY NOT?
No, because the sample size is too small to justify this level of forgetfulness.
5) Which would you rather have for a pet? A DOG or a CAT? If you answer "cat," you've got some serious explaining to do.
Cats are more like me surly, uncommunicative, indifferent all of which are probably good arguments for dogs.
6) Do you eat grits for breakfast?
I have before, though not lately; usually I skip breakfast altogether, on the dubious basis that I need those few extra minutes of sleep more than I need a sloshing of nutrient-like substances.
7) What is the most dumb-ass thing you ever did in your life? Was it fun or has it haunted you for years?
I actually fell for the armorer's request for a left-handed barrel stabilizer while I was a lowly E-1.
8) Do you exceed the speed limit regularly when you drive, or just do it occasionally? Don't tell me that you NEVER SPEED you lying shit! Tell the truth!
Most places I go, going the speed limit is an invitation to tailgaters.
9) Describe the happiest day you can remember living.
Working on it yet.
10) Do you believe that some things are worth dying for? If so, name one thing worth dying for and tell me why you feel so strongly about it.
When I joined the Army in 1972, it was mostly because I expected to get drafted and wanted some small say in what they did to me. But a few years of wearing the uniform convinced me that there is merit in the traditional American approach to world affairs, i.e. issue platitudes then kick ass, and if the time comes when we're all needed, well, you've already seen my platitudes.
* Yugoslavian Crotch Bugle. Don't ask.
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:37 AM)
8 November 2003
Ransack a mung fig
I was in a semi-jaunty mood, remarkably so considering it's cold and damp and dreary outside and the inside of my head is awash in histamine, so I went ahead and plugged the name of the Resonant Tuscan's blog into the generator, and was rewarded with A NICE HOT BUST, not to mention STOIC BANE HUT and USE BATH TONIC and THE COUSIN TAB and SNUB TO THE CIA and ESTONIA BUTCH and AUTHENTIC SOB.
I do hope she's still speaking to me. (And that goes for Shari Rae Darn at Taut Chrome Doom, too.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 8:04 PM)
20 February 2004
It goes to show you never can tell
Lesley at Plum Crazy passes on this insane but simple meme:
[T]urn on your mp3 player, set it to random, and list the first 20 songs that play, regardless of how embarrassing.
Well, okay. There are 1331 songs on the playlist on this box, mostly fairly mainstream. Let's see what happens:
1. "Silhouettes," a case of mistaken identity in the Herman's Hermits remake.
2. "Wonderland by Night," Bert Kaempfert's lovely instrumental with a hair-raising trumpet part.
3. "Zip Code", the Five Americans once again turning a communications medium into a song (cf. "Western Union").
4. "No More Mr. Nice Guy," the Alice Cooper manifesto.
5. "Flowers on the Wall," the Statler Brothers statement on loneliness.
6. "Loser," transmogrified from the Beck original into ultra-lounge by Richard Cheese.
7. "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head", B. J. Thomas reminding us of Butch and Sundance.
8. "Diamonds and Rust," in which Joan Baez remembers what used to be.
9. "Wild Thing," an example of Boston Soul from the pseudonymous "Senator Bobby."
10. "The Loco-Motion", a little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul from Little Eva.
11. "Let Me Go the Right Way," a very early Supremes track with Florence, rather than Diana, on lead.
12. "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," another shot of B. J. Thomas, this time channeling Hank Williams.
14. "Walk Away," Donna Summer's blend of torch and dance.
15. "Kazooed on Klassics," by the Temple City Kazoo Orchestra, which I hope needs no explanation.
16. "Electric Avenue," in which Eddy Grant anticipates a department at Montgomery Ward.
17. "Courtney Love Stinks," a Bob Rivers Twisted Tune.
18. "Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)," dark sarcasm from Pink Floyd.
19. "When Liking Turns to Loving," Ronnie Dove on the cusp.
20. "Metamorphosis," a ten-minute sonata of sorts by a mid-Seventies version of Curved Air.
If nothing else, this might explain why I usually keep the radio on the classical station, or spin one of the 40 CD-Rs I store at deskside.
Permalink to this item (posted at 11:15 AM)
9 June 2004
Gone to pieces, bits and pieces
This started with retroCRUSH's 50 Coolest Song Parts survey, which is based on the perfectly reasonable notion that "sometimes there are pieces of songs that are cooler than the song itself." With a nod to Michele, who's already worked up a list, here are some of my favorite fragments. The criterion for inclusion is simple: does it make the hair on the back of my neck stand up, even now, however many years later? These do.
Feel free to contribute your own bits.
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:29 AM)
22 June 2004
Alphabet soup for you
(Swiped from Dave.)
Act your age? If I have to, I suppose.
Born on what day of the week? Wednesday's child, full of woe (full of something, anyway).
Chore you hate? Washing dishes; fortunately, there aren't many.
Dad's name? Ged. Not with a J, but with a G. And a hard G at that.
Essential makeup item? Does sunscreen count?
Favorite actor? The late Gene Kelly.
Gold or silver? Gimme silver.
Hometown? Born in Illinois, grew up in South Carolina, wound up in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Instruments you play? I can pick out something vaguely tunelike on most piano-type keyboards.
Job title? "System Operator and General Flunky." Okay, forget the "general."
Kids? Two. (Gender division: one of each.)
Living arrangements? I own my own home, or at least the 1/200th of it that's paid for.
Mom's name? Bette. Not with a Y, but with an E.
Need? A knee operation, and a functioning oil well to pay for it.
Overnight hospital stays? 2000, when my blood pressure dropped off the scale and random pains came in to fill the gap.
Phobias? Certainly claustro.
Quote you like? See "It is written" (left column, main page) for sample.
Religious affiliation? Deist with vaguely-Christian leanings.
Time you wake up? 5:55 am on weekdays, though it usually takes me to 6:01 to bestir myself. Weekends are anyone's guess.
Unique talent? You're soaking in it.
Vegetable you refuse to eat? Zucchini. Deal with it.
Worst habit? Like I have good ones?
X-rays you've had? Mostly dental, with the occasional chestal.
Yummy food you make? I am a genuinely lousy cook.
Zodiac Sign? Sagittarius, who never believed in those things anyway.
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:35 AM)
18 September 2004
The last few bars
Dvorak's Stabat Mater
Beethoven's 5th Symphony
Dvorak's 9th Symphony
Rossini's William Tell Overture
Mussorgsky's Night on Bald Mountain (the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestration)
An impressive set. I might suggest the following for #6 and below:
Hmmm. Wonder if next we should try beginnings?
(Update, 8:20 pm: Greg Hlatky offers his Top Ten, which duplicates none of the above.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 12:32 AM)
29 December 2004
I suspect they all do that
This is what happens when I get seriously deranged and start doing quizzes, fercrissake.
For a complete synopsis, see http://www.metopera.org/synopses/cosi.html.
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:29 AM)
26 January 2005
Filler? We got some
The Music Meme, by way of Syaffolee:
1) What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
11.5 GB, more or less, but probably more.
2) The CD you last bought was
3) What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
"Last Night" by the Mar-Keys.
4) Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
"Runaway," Del Shannon (Del Shannon-Max Crook)
5) To whom (three people) are you going to pass this stick? And why?
It's open to anyone who wants it; I'm not going to email it or anything.
Permalink to this item (posted at 2:42 PM)
30 January 2005
Yet another silly meme
Not that I'm above silly memes, of course.
How this one works:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
From Born Grown: An Oklahoma City History by Roy P. Stewart (Oklahoma City: Fidelity Bank, National Association, 1974):
"In 1976 the American Bowling Congress tournament will come to Oklahoma City for the first time, setting up its own lanes in the Myriad."
Well, you know, I hate to leave a story unfinished.
(Via Phoebe Gleeson.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 5:03 AM)
23 February 2005
It's called, simply, where you've been.
bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...
Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C. /
For some reason, this made me think of an old Jack Benny radio show. There was a contest in which you were to complete the following in 25 words or less: I can't stand Jack Benny because...
WWII was going full-tilt at the time, so prizes of Victory Bonds were awarded. And one day on the show, Rochester is opening one of the bazillions of envelopes received, and announces, "Here's one from Fred Allen."
"Fred Allen?" says Jack. "He can't enter. He's a judge."
"Just the same," insists Rochester. "He says, 'I can't stand Jack Benny because...' and then he lists the reasons, alphabetically, chronologically, and geographically."
"Yeah. He can't stand you any place."
Given the amount of moving around I've done, I'm wondering if they (whoever "they" are) can't stand me any place.
Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.
(Snatched from Accidental Verbosity.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:56 PM)
19 March 2005
By the numbers
Two years ago I put together a CD-R, a foreshortened version (with some songs shuffled) of an earlier mix tape. The track list follows:
Incidentally, "Forty Days" is the same song as Chuck Berry's "Thirty Days." The tape version substituted Boyd Bennett's "Seventeen" and Alice Cooper's "I'm Eighteen," the Clovers' version of "Love Potion No. 9," and added Nena's "99 Luftballons" and the Drifters' "Three Thirty Three."
Permalink to this item (posted at 9:31 AM)
29 March 2005
From the Metaquestion Box
Heavy stuff from Babs:
[W]here is the line between blogging for ones own enjoyment and the responsibility of maintaining a public blog?
Right about here: ________________________
I did that because (1) I enjoyed it, lame as it was, and (2) I figure there are at least two or three readers who will accept it in the spirit in which it was given. (The Snark was a Boojum, you see.)
I do try to shove something up here at least once a day. (In practice, it's more like four or five times a day, assuming I'm not on Tour.) And I'm not above coming up with items that will elicit responses from specific individuals who are known to frequent this site; by so doing, I create the illusion of dialogue, which may not sound impressive until you compare it to the average monologue.
But beyond that, I figure once it ceases to be fun, I probably should go look for some other avocation, even though the replacement will probably cost more (at its worst, running this place runs twentyish a month) and do less to shore up my insufficiently-outsized ego.
Besides, I've run this site for almost nine freaking years. As commitments go, this has to be one of the longer ones in my life. It's certainly the one that's caused me the least dyspepsia.
Permalink to this item (posted at 7:00 AM)
15 April 2005
Who wants to know?
Well, well, more questions. Why not?
1. Have you ever felt left out or gotten your feelings hurt by another blogger? For example ... (PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY) Say a person asks you and four other people the same question, which you all answer in different ways. Then you run across a totally different blog, and that author has linked to every person's answer except yours.
No difference to me; I don't always work in every last possible link, nor do I expect the rest of the 'sphere to do so.
2. Do you become (even slightly) emotionally involved with your posts?
The good ones, yes. Fortunately, they are a minority.
3. Knowing that a blog is NOT the sum total of the author's parts ... tell me if you would agree or disagree (and WHY you agree or disagree) with the following statement:
Regardless of the material posted, aspects of the author's personality inevitably bleed through, unless every post they make is plagiarized.
How could they not? I figure someone could write a frighteningly detailed, spectacularly slow-selling book about me based solely upon the archives here.
And finally... 4. If you eat pasta together with anti-pasta ... will you feel as though you haven't eaten?
Hardly. You're simply transported to another world, known familiarly as the calzone.
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:30 AM)
6 May 2005
At least there's only ten
Pass it on, as they say.
Permalink to this item (posted at 9:13 AM)
16 May 2005
Well, I never!
Make of these what you will.
I have never:
(Via Accidental Verbosity.)
Permalink to this item (posted at 9:11 AM)
25 May 2005
Updates in the four months since then:
Total volume: 12 GB
Last CD bought: The Originals, Susan and the SurfTones
Last song heard: "Wingding," Thurl Ravenscroft (courtesy of Lileks)
But thanks for asking.
Permalink to this item (posted at 10:00 AM)
8 June 2005
Books? We got some
How the mighty have fallen. Tony Blair comes to America with hat in hand and is sent away without even the hat; Jimmy Carter is reduced to pleading on behalf of the scuzzballs at Guantanamo; and, perhaps most startlingly, Francis W. Porretto passes on a meme. What is this world coming to?
Oh, well. To the business at hand:
1. The number of books I own.
2. The last book I bought.
3. The last book I read.
4. Five books that mean a lot to me.
Pick up on it if you like; I hate inflicting these things on people.
Permalink to this item (posted at 11:23 AM)
20 June 2005
At the request of Cam Edwards: five books I liked enough as a teen/young adult to read again as an adult.
1. Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
2. Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
3. Neil Postman and Charles Weingartner, Teaching as a Subversive Activity
4. Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle
5. Frank Yerby, The Foxes of Harrow
Permalink to this item (posted at 6:22 AM)
1 July 2005
Under the general heading of TMI
What this is all about can be found here. Here's the procedure:
Overview: This post is a community experiment with two broad purposes. The first is to create publicly accessible data about bloggers' personalities, which may have sociological value in addition to being just plain fun. The second is to track the propagation of this meme through blogspace.
Instructions (to join in the experiment):
[My own responses are after the jump, which is also where you'll find the second set of double lines. Delete this paragraph if you're copying from me.]
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Religion: Generic Christian
Occupation: Computer systems operator
Began blogging (dd/mm/yy): 06/23/00
Political Compass results:
Economic Left/Right: -2.00
Activity Level: 29