I’m one of those people who believes that you spend as much as you damn well please on your vacation, so I’m not going to get too bent out of shape at the idea that the President and his family are spending some ginormous sum for a trip to Hawaii. It’s December, fercrissake; Hawaii can ask that kind of money this time of year, and there aren’t any beach houses that I know of in, say, Minot, North Dakota.

Hell, even Alaskans visit Hawaii in December:

Probably didn’t spend quite so much, but so what?

Danica Patrick: the Sarah Palin of NASCAR?

There’s little in the way of middle ground when it comes to Danica. People either love her for her gumption in taking on the boys, dislike her for her sometimes surly persona and penchant for self-promotion, or really really REALLY can’t stand her. A large percentage of the latter devote an even larger amount of time to expressing this sentiment, be it in assorted sordid columns for various publication channels or in the comments area of same.

Never seen Sarah surly, but that makes sense. And besides:

Both Danica Patrick and Sarah Palin have a lot of fans who adore them regardless of how media elements tell them otherwise. There are throngs of people waiting for Palin at every stop in her book promotion tour not to jeer but cheer, fueled by political and personal admiration. Patrick also has her group of followers, young girls invariably decked out in #7 gear in attendance at every IRL race. They’re there because their heroine is there, the girl who takes on, holds her own against and sometimes bests the boys.

On the other hand, Sarah’s never done this:

Not for Sports Illustrated, anyway.

An experiment, as it were:

Imagine that we had a global test to find the most brilliant person in the world and the point of this was that we would give this person the power to be the leader of the free world. After an exhaustive survey, we found a man who understood particle physics, spoke 12 languages, could do cube roots in his head, played classical piano, and ran the marathon in 2:15.

He decides to be Pope.

So my question is now that it can be proven without a doubt that the smartest man in the world is head of the Catholic Church, do you convert? How does it make you feel about your willingness to follow Catholic dogma?

Evidently one of those twelve languages was Latin.

Cobb came up with this Gedanken experiment to explain something about Sarah Palin, which tells me that on this scale, he ought to be at least a Cardinal by now.

If looking at the contemporary political/cultural scene gives you a sense of déjà vu, there’s a reason for that, says Andrea Harris:

Everywhere you go, everything you encounter, every attitude and platitude and political position, has its roots in the jocks-vs.-nerds, popular-vs.-unwanted, James-Spader-Molly-Ringwald-couples-don’t-exist-in-real-life dichotomy the nation’s citizenry experienced in high school. We are currently experiencing a revenge-of-the-nerds administration — with the sting in the tail being that Obama really isn’t a nerd, he’s just one of those people who would have been a jock but for having no athletic ability. There’s nothing worse than someone who can’t be what he is. We must all pay for his personality dysfunctions.

The one thing policy wonks have in common is, of course, wonkishness.

Contrariwise:

Anyway, Sarah Palin is, obviously, a jock, and so all of us who fancy ourselves intellectuals whether artistic or scientific or both must be up in arms against her commonplace, shallow, brawn-not-brain, “get your nose out of that book and clean up your room!”, boys-who-won’t-play-football-are-fags, scratchy “nice” dress for church no you can’t sleep late, God wants you to stay a virgin! self. Or … do we?

I tell you, if John Hughes had just started making films this year, he’d be hailed as a political satirist. And a better one than Michael Moore, at that.

Virginia Postrel, a self-described “bona fide coastal elitist intellectual snob,” isn’t what you’d call a Sarah Palin fan, but she does have something to say about that infamous Newsweek cover:

There are, of course, problems with the photo, which was taken for Runner’s World and was supposed to be embargoed for a year. Nonetheless, it’s clear what Newsweek editors were thinking when they picked it: This is going to sell magazines. (The controversy is a bonus. Free publicity!) Journalism is in survival mode. This is not a time to get squeamish about using the most commercial photo available.

Dollars trump ideology. This is not to say that dollars are independent of ideology — the more you have of the former, the easier it is to implement the latter — but ultimately, as that guy with the ever-changing name says, it’s all about the Benjamins.

As for the charges of “sexism,” Postrel observes:

The cries that the cover is “sexist” assume two things: First, that women in public life should not be portrayed as consciously, proudly, sexily attractive. Male politicians can be obviously good looking, but conspicuously attractive women aren’t sufficiently serious. (Maybe we’ll make an exception if you look sufficiently high-end WASP.)

I don’t recall a lot of complaints about, for instance, Barack Obama topless.

And I can’t help thinking that the aforementioned elites would have a lot less of a problem with Palin if she sounded like Diane Rehm.

And, second, that Newsweek doesn’t like Sarah Palin — an assumption borne out by its cover headline. With different editorial framing, the photo would be read differently.

A demonstration of this argument is provided.

Finally, there’s this:

I do have one question: Is she wearing panty hose?

Based on the other Runner’s World photos, and on an examination of the small number of Palin photos I keep on hand for just this sort of research, I believe that she is not.

Though there’s always the chance that Ian Robinson might actually be serious:

Come for the culture war … stay for the chicks. Right-wing women rock.

Not for us the sturdy, honest calves of the New Democrat/Green Party female, honed on eco-tourist rainforest hikes.

Those legs are often on unfortunate display, extending from a knee-length tweed skirt as hairy as the legs themselves, and end in a pair of Birkenstocks.

Meanwhile, on the right side of the aisle:

The only sensible footwear you’ll find in a right-wing woman’s closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.

Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum.

I concede up front that quite the nicest legs I’ve ever been privileged to observe in person belonged to a lady with impeccable Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy credentials, but that proves nothing: it’s a single data point, Sarah Palin notwithstanding. And heels don’t mean so much: is anyone prepared to argue that, for instance, Carrie Bradshaw and company are closet conservatives? I didn’t think so.

Jenn Q. Public quips:

The message should be loud and clear: “Please have sex with me. Someone? Anyone?”

Not to worry. Here’s to you, Mr Robinson: women scorn you more than you will know.

From Coyote Blog:

I generally don’t do horserace style political blogging on strategy between the Coke and Pepsi parties, and I am not going to start now. However, I did find it funny that it was Mike Huckabee threatening Sarah Palin that she should not leave the GOP. It’s funny to me because of all the things the GOP could do to potentially attract me to the party, having Mike Huckabee leave the party would be close to first on the list.

This motivated me to get up and pour another Dr Pepper.

One of several recently-surfacing photos of Sarah Heath, class of ‘82, Wasilla High School. Apparently there were a few leftover yearbooks; this one got autographed by Wasilla’s favorite daughter and donated to a youth group, which then auctioned it off on eBay, raising $651.50 for their mission trip.

I am told that the book contains ten pictures of Sarah, and five of Todd Palin.

While contemplating Sarah Palin’s potential for 2012, which may or may not be affected by her decision to step down as Governor of Alaska, Smitty takes note of another woman who is known to have interest in the Oval Office:

In the credit where due department, HRC is nothing if not cunning. She’s suddenly not going to Russia. Of course, it’s entire too early to connect the dots with other (scroll down a bit) “Unwelcome Distractions”. But it doesn’t take a prophet to realize that, if BHO is AFU in 2012, HRC will come back with the fury of a cancer that’s been in remission for a few years. Possibly I could have chosen a more pleasant metaphor, but as long as the electorate favors Beltway hangtime over Constitutional fidelity, the egalitarian oxymoron “political class” shall continue to weaken all you hold dear, tumor-like.

Not to mention growing.

The Governor of Alaska is interviewed in the August Runner’s World, whence this picture was swiped, and she’s definitely the type to go the distance, hang the consequences:

I went for a run at John McCain’s ranch a couple of days before the debate with Joe Biden. My favorite thing in the world is to run on hot, dusty roads. I don’t get enough of that in Alaska. So I was in heaven and there were plenty of hills so I knew my thighs were going to just throb and my lungs were going to burn and that’s what I crave.

I like running alone and having the Secret Service with me added a little bit of pressure. I’m thinking I gotta have good form and can’t be hyperventilating and can’t be showing too much pain and that adds a little more pressure on you as you’re trying to be out there enjoying your run. Then I fell coming down a hill and was so stinkin’ embarrassed that a golf cart full of Secret Service guys had to pull up beside me. My hands just got torn up and I was dripping blood. In the debate you could see a big fat ugly Band-Aid on my right hand. I have a nice war wound now as a reminder of that fall in the palm of my right hand. For much of the campaign, shaking hands was a little bit painful.

The Secret Service, incidentally, lived up to their name by never saying a word about it.

The shoes (since you’re going to ask): Asics. More photos here.

The Governor of Alaska showed up for Founder’s Day in Auburn, New York on Saturday.

Why, you ask? Auburn’s own William H. Seward, who served as Secretary of State in the Lincoln and (Andrew) Johnson administrations, was responsible for negotiating the purchase of Alaska from the Russians in 1867, and inasmuch as it’s the 50th anniversary of Alaska statehood this year … well, you get the idea. And the crowd was duly wowed.

Incidentally, that’s a ‘59 Cadillac. Of course.

A brief history of the mullet, the only hairstyle versatile enough to accommodate both MacGyver and Sarah Palin.

(Via jenX67.)

Morgan Freeberg has a nice little comic rendering of Sarah Palin, but I like this one better:

She stands between Barack the Barbarian and the Treasure of Stimuli.

No, really.

(Via Webutante.)

It’s a little store on Juneau’s Seward Street called Shoefly + Hudsons, and here’s the scoop:

The shop, opened in 2005 by business partners Sydney Mitchell and Dawn Walsh, carries an array of rugged-meets-girly footwear, from strappy sandals to colorful cowgirl boots.

Of Palin’s shopping sprees, Mitchell stuck to the store’s “what happens at Shoefly + Hudsons stays at Shoefly + Hudsons” policy (okay, that’s really just in regard to sharing the personal info of those who sign up for the email newsletter) but she did say this: “Obviously she’s a busy elected official and doesn’t spend a lot of time shopping. But when Palin does stop in, usually there’s a family member with her. Last time she had Trig with her. She’s very personable and gracious and fun to help.”

To absolutely no one’s surprise, the governor “tends toward heels.”

Apparently Sarah Palin wears a size 7½ shoe.

This won’t satisfy the one guy in my search logs every week looking for Ann Coulter’s shoe size, but you can’t have everything.

(Courtesy of Fausta.)

“A flurry of recent studies,” says Kiera Butler in Mother Jones (Jan/Feb ‘09), “have tied Americans’ political orientation to everything from favorite foods to sexy dreams.” She then goes on to list “some of the more dubious findings from this new field of research,” two of which I mention here.

You may be a conservative if … you alphabetize your underwear drawer. Conservatives are more likely to have neat and tidy rooms, and liberals messy ones.

Well, there’s nothing on the floor, so I can claim that much neatness, anyway. As for my underwear drawer, I am at a loss as to how one would alphabetize its contents. I do, however, sort by color.

You may be a conservative if … your dreams are chaste. Nearly half of liberals report having erotic dreams; only 38% of conservatives admit to it.

I must point out here that while there is the occasional bit of sexual activity in my dreams, generally I’m not one of the individuals actually having it; this is one of the few exceptions I can recall. I must also point out here that “nearly half” implies a number in the 40-percent range, which is not all that much greater than 38. Then again, that latter number, says Butler, is subject to change:

(This was before Sarah Palin.)

Oh.

John Salmon spotted what he thought was a gratuitous Sarah Palin comparison in a New York Times article about Caroline Kennedy, which prompted this even more gratuitous comment from me:

Not that it’s a qualification or anything, but at least Caroline has a fair set o’ stems, if not in Sarah’s league.

Yeah, you can see how I mark my ballots. :)

Mr Salmon embraced this concept briefly (sorry, briefs not available):

Selecting women candidates by legs or other critical body parts is fine by me — after all, we’re going to have to look at them a lot, if they win. The only problem is a race between the likes of a Golda Meir and a Margaret Thatcher. I might have to sit that one out.

And then backed away ever so slightly:

Lest I be viewed as a sexist for the above comment, let me say that “The Sarah Rule”, that is to say, evaluating female candidates by their appearance, should only be used to break a tie. If you [have to choose between] two women whose experience, philosophy, etc. are more or less equal, then using TSR may be necessary.

In other words, Kay Bailey Hutchison over either Sandra Bullock or Sheryl Crow. I don’t have a problem with that.

Inasmuch as I’m going to be viewed as a sexist anyway for bringing it up, here’s some evidence to support my earlier premise, as snagged from CNN:

Again, not that it’s a qualification or anything. You’re not going to see me pushing, say, Zooey Deschanel for Congress.

Andrew Crossett’s Celebrity Legs Gallery is one of my oldest bookmarks, for reasons I surely need not explain. The past few weeks, he’s been taking votes for the Best Celebrity Legs of 2008, and to my amusement, pixie-sized Kristen Bell (she’s five-one) got the most. (You tend to expect someone with seemingly-endless gams to take the title, or at least I do.)

Even more amusing, among the next ten, Tina Fey and Sarah Palin wound up right next to each other.

And the late Gloria Grahame was inducted into the Hall of Fame, in case you thought Mr Crossett’s readers might be afflicted by the Tyranny of the New.

Hmmm. Look who bought an outfit for Sarah Palin:

Ethics disclosure forms recently obtained under the Freedom of Information Act contained this oddity: $300 in clothes and footwear from … CNBC.

Turns out that the network’s Maria Bartiromo sat down with the Alaska governor in August, just days before she became John McCain’s running mate. The interview about oil, energy and drilling was conducted in Palin’s Anchorage office, where she wore her own suit and high heels, according to CNBC sources. The producers asked to continue the interview in the oil fields; since Palin didn’t have outdoor gear at the office, a CNBC assistant raced out to buy a jacket and hiking shoes for the location shoot.

The network didn’t give it another thought, but Palin dutifully reported it as a gift on her disclosure form.

The only surprising aspect of this, if you ask me, is that she didn’t have a set of outdoor duds hanging in the closet in that Anchorage office. You never can tell when you might need that sort of thing.

(Via Romenesko.)

It’s not every day I get a letter from Sarah Palin. Nothing personal, though: the Guv is offering a new Alaska travel guide, and while the Last Frontier is not exactly the vacation spot of my dreams, at least the dreams I have during the last week of November, I have to figure that Palin’s visibility over the past few months has insured that a larger percentage of residents of the Lower 48 have actually heard of Alaska these days, so maybe this promotion may pay off.

Someday, though, I should go, if only because I haven’t been there yet.

Morgan Freeberg has decided that women’s legs are evidence of intelligent design:

You know that thing going around about how bananas are an atheist’s nightmare, because they possess so many attributes all of which seem to be orchestrated toward making them easier to eat? The same is true of the female gam. Designed by an intelligent Higher Power, to be observed and appreciated.

Entered into the record: Exhibit A AK.

I was making a preliminary pass through the logs last night for Monday-morning search-engine fodder, when I happened upon this Yahoo! Answers query:

Does Sarah Palin ever wear nylons or tights?

Of the proffered answers, the one getting the nod was this: “Probably … but you have to get close enough to tell.”

Which seemed reasonable enough, I suppose. I note with some amusement that five Web links were given, two of which came back here, which explains why I saw it.

Then again, I also happened upon a TV Guide interview with Tina Fey, quoted in The Week, in which this was said:

When I first saw her, I didn’t think we looked alike at all. She’s got these super-straight white teeth and she’s got this really even caramel tan. She’s got legs for days.

And, well, we are talking the Land of the Midnight Sun.

Conclusion: If she is wearing them, it’s not to conceal flaws.

Advice for columnist Kathleen Parker, from E. M. Zanotti:

We’ve had a lot of disagreements lately. Mostly we disagree on the assessment that you wrote your National Review piece panning Sarah Palin so that you could write a follow-up piece about how conservatives now hate you and would like to distance themselves from you as a way of making yourself look cooler to liberals. Here’s a bit of a hint from a high school nerd about popular kids that perhaps you and Christopher Buckley should take to heart: no matter how much you try to impress them, they are never going to like you. It’s a fact of life. The best you can do is get over it and get back to the business of conducting quiet sedition on the cheerleading squad.

Which is why I am just taking your latest piece with a bit of a grain of salt. I understand what it’s like to be desperate for the attention of someone who you know will never love you in return. Strangely, you seem to make the case, in your own article, that this is why John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his Vice President.

Listen, there are much easier ways to get people to like you than to offer them the Veep slot and force them to go shopping with your wife. A nice dinner and an evening with the local professional ballet company come to mind. Or even just a nice walk. Hell, if you were John McCain you could just sit them down and scare the crap out of them with your war stories until they agreed to be your friend out of a mix of pity, guilt and fear.

I’m not sure which worries me more: the possibility that some of this might apply to me, or that it might not.

About time someone came out for A Woman’s Right to Shoes:

I must say I’ve never been much of a foot fetishist (and please, any members of Foot Fetishists For Obama: no email blitzes pointing out what a pedophobe I am). Nevertheless, since the investigative research units of our major media operations developed their peculiar obsession with Sarah Palin’s shoes, I’m beginning to enjoy the kinky frisson of it all. This Chicago Sun-Times photo gallery is especially impressive.

And, by the way, if you think it’s easy photographing Governor Palin’s feet all day when you could be out investigating ACORN, these pictures are taken at some pretty severe angles. At least when they’re with Obama, they only have to throw themselves at his feet metaphorically.

On the other hand, it’s far easier photographing Joe Biden’s footwear because it’s generally in his mouth.

I just wish he hadn’t said “kinky.” (“Frisson” I suppose I can live with.)

The WaPo’s Sleuth thinks she’s on to something here:

The make-up artist to the wannabe-stars is getting paid beaucoup bucks to make [John] McCain, 72, more telegenic.

Tifanie White, who reportedly has done makeup for the shows “So You Think You Can Dance” and “American Idol,” was paid a total of $8,672.55 in September by the McCain-Palin campaign, according to the campaign’s latest monthly financial report filed this week with the Federal Election Commission. She was paid $5,583.43 the previous month, records show.

The idea, presumably, is to impress upon us how much money it takes to make John McCain presentable for television. Actually, it takes a ton of money to make anyone presentable for television, as noted by Deep Glamour:

White’s got a big list of credits and an Emmy nomination. As a union makeup artist, her day rate is around $550 for a 10 hour day. Her pay’s not even close to what a key artist, working on a feature film, could make. If that’s “beaucoup bucks,” the Post is in worse shape than I thought.

The Sleuth did do this much:

We asked McCain campaign spokesman Brian Rogers whether McCain was happy with the American Idol make-up artist’s work, and whether Ms. White also does makeup for McCain’s naturally telegenic vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin. Rogers replied via email, “No comment.”

Well unsaid, Mr Rogers. Where were you when this came out?

A Washington Post reader requests a ruling:

I noticed that Sarah Palin often does not wear nylons/hose, including when she accepted her nomination for vice president. I didn’t notice whether she wore hose for the debate. I also do not wear hose often, even in a professional setting (I’m an attorney). If you don’t have to wear nylons with skirts when you are accepting the nomination for vice president of the United States, when do you?

An answer — not necessarily the answer — from one of Mark Steyn’s correspondents:

Palin doesn’t wear pantyhose Mark. That’s one of the reasons the old fems don’t like her — unlike them, she actually has legs good enough to bare.

If I remember correctly, Gloria Steinem, while she indeed doesn’t like Palin, has, or at least had, very nice stems. (She did manage to get herself hired as a Playboy Club “Bunny” to conduct undercover research, after all, and Hef’s minions tend to notice such attributes.)

Incidentally, the WaPo’s Janet Bennett Kelly punted:

I’m not sure I would hold up Sarah Palin as someone whose fashion judgment I’d follow.

(Provoked by Marianne Brennan.)

While following up on that idiotic attempt to conjure up Sarah Palin’s SAT scores by means of Photoshop, I ran this Google search: “sat scores unimportant.”

And Google replied:

Did you mean: sat scores important

Um, no, I didn’t, but thank you for making my point: the SAT and the rival ACT are treated as damn near Divine Revelation by some people for no good reason. As a predictor of college success, the SAT’s record seems to be mixed; as a predictor of success in life generally, well, I wouldn’t trust it as far as I could throw it. (Before you ask: yes, I have my numbers, and yes, they’re supposedly impressive, and no, they’ve had no bearing on any aspect of my existence for at least thirty-five years.)

The mere fact that someone would go to the trouble of manufacturing a fake SAT score sheet, though, demonstrates quite plainly that some people never matured past high-school level in the first place.

So does the eye, eventually:

And let’s face it, if you had to sit there and listen to Sean Hannity, your mind would wander too.

Princess Sparkle Pony brings us this L.A. craigslist item:

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.

Major adult studio.

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP

Pay: $2000-3000

No anal required

Anyone want to come up with a title for this? I’m thinking Hot Iditarods. (Try to keep it hemi-demi-semi-clean, wouldja please?)

Actually, I don’t think I’m any such thing. On the other hand, there’s that business about the stopped clock being right twice a day, and there are times when I wonder if my hands are moving.

In January 2007, I linked back to an item at Dean Esmay’s place (link is currently 404′d) written by Kevin D. It went like this:

Should the 2008 Presidential election come down between Rice and Clinton (and I don’t think it will) how long do you think it will be before someone notes, “Men will vote for the woman they want to have sex with most”? Someone will say it. You know it.

The election, as it happens, didn’t shape up that way at all. But this is what I said at the time:

I don’t think I’ve ever made an election choice based on this criterion, but on the off-chance that there might be some guys who do, I think I’ll start talking up Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Not that I have, um, delusions of boinkage or anything like that.