The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

25 September 2006

Strange search-engine queries (34)

I was asked at the Blogger Roundup what percentage of my traffic came from search engines. The answer: forty to forty-five or so. However, very little of it is for stuff like this:

what color is an elephant?  Elephants? Red. Donkeys are blue. Questions are answered, though not more than two.

yarmulke foreskin:  Related, perhaps, but I suspect not the way you're thinking.

windshield arizona omaha steaks:  That glass gets hot in Phoenix, though probably not hot enough to grill a T-bone.

is it strange for men to want to wear women's lingerie:  Only if they want someone else to see them doing it.

gillette blades suck:  Well, actually, they scrape.

"some of them" asians "long legs":  Yes. The tall ones.

will gasoline take jewel glue off clothes:  Warm it up and let's see.

shots of girls in bikinis, bras, or nothing without penises:  Should I be grateful this isn't a request for shots of girls with penises?

oklahoma blog dust:  This is what happens when you don't post for two or three weeks.

why we should wear clothing suitable to our body figure:  Um, because otherwise we look like hell?

"itching powder" bra cups:  Here comes the next 40-year-old virgin.

what happened in the years 1995-2000:  Nothing whatsoever. The whole world went into suspended animation.

catalytic converters in the Oklahoman:  You should see the gases they'd emit otherwise.

Posted at 6:18 AM to You Asked For It

Not to mention all the folks who show up looking for this.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 7:55 PM on 25 September 2006

Not to mention this.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:40 PM on 25 September 2006

How did the donkeys get to be blue?

They should be pink, at the least.

Posted by: John Salmon at 3:41 AM on 27 September 2006

A few years after the Soviet Union disappeared into the dustbin of history and we quit referring to China as "Red" China, a purely-arbitrary decision was made by some TV-network weasel to show Democrats on the electoral map as blue and Republicans as red, and it stuck. It could just as easily have been yellow and green, except that "yellow," unlike "red," retains its unfavorable connotations of old — and, if I remember my Visuals 102 at all, people hate seeing large swaths of yellow on screen.

Posted by: CGHill at 7:39 AM on 27 September 2006