Use the same narrator who's appeared in every other campaign ad since 1978. You know, that guy. The one with the voice? Him. We all know he's the true ruler of the country, and if he gives his tacit stamp of approval, I know the candidate has the backing of the Hidden Cabal that runs the government from a mountain in Colorado. They weren't behind 9/11, but they were behind 5/30. Oh, you didn't hear about 5/30? That's how secret they are.