The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

6 October 2006

Snakes on a drain

Lynn is tired of those [word redacted] snakes coming up through the bathroom:

One day last week Number Two Son found a snake in the bathtub. It provided about five minutes or so of entertainment but it got away. A day or two later I found a small snake in the clothes hamper. I quickly decided that I didn't need to do laundry right that minute. Later the guys searched the hamper but didn't find anything.

This afternoon I found the same snake (or its twin) near the door to the other bathroom. Now that is simply unacceptable. I'm usually a live and let live kind of gal but a snake in my bathroom is something that I'm not willing to live with. So I ran outside and grabbed an old ax handle — a comfortingly long and hefty piece of wood — and went back and found the snake hiding behind the door a few inches from where I had first seen it. My plan was to bring my weapon straight down on the little beastie's head but he moved and I ended up smashing it right in the middle. I then scooped it up on a dustpan and carried it out to the trash outside. Yay me!

Complain? Not me. Here's why:

The little beastie has been identified. It was a young copperhead.

Sheesh. Even Kate has sworn off venom.

Posted at 9:02 AM to Soonerland


Top Ten rejected concepts before settling on 'Snakes on a Plane':

10) Snakes on a Bun
9) Snakes on Katie Couric
8) Snakes on the Crosstown Bus at rush hour
7) Snakes on the Bloomingdale's perfume counter
6) Snakes on Goldman Sachs (rejected for redundancy)
5) Snakes on Steroids
4) Snakes on Ice
3) Snakes 'R' Us
2) Snakes on Katie Couric (yeah, I know, but I REALLY like this one)
1) Snakes online: The Democratic Underground story

There. That's out of my system now.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 6:28 PM on 6 October 2006