The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

16 December 2006

Ill-fitting suits

"Weird Al" Yankovic's Straight Outta Lynwood contains a track called "I'll Sue Ya," which contains lines like this:

I sued Verizon ... 'cause I get all depressed every time my cell phone is roaming
I sued Colorado ... 'cause, you know, I think it looks a little too much like Wyoming

A regular litigatin' fool, this guy. And as always, Weird Al was prescient; while the CD was still playing, I dialed over to Fark.com and found this:

Pro se litigant George Allen Ward is suing Arm & Hammer and its corporate parent, Church & Dwight, for $425 million. His theory of liability: failure to warn. The company failed to warn him that if he cooked up THEIR PRODUCT, baking soda, with cocaine, he might end up serving a 200-month prison sentence on crack cocaine charges.

Once again, Yankovic demonstrates his sure grasp of the fine points of American culture. (And you thought he was just white and nerdy.)

Posted at 12:21 PM to Dyssynergy


Once again, Yankovic demonstrates his sure grasp of the fine points of American culture.

This particular finer point being "some people are incredibly stupid and will attempt not only to blame anyone for their mistakes but also cash in at the same time?" You don't need Weird Al for that - you just need a map of Washington DC.

(I liked the pancreas song best, don't know why)

Posted by: Matt at 12:48 PM on 16 December 2006

The funniest post I've read all day.

It consoles me, actually: with people like Mr.Ward, the company I labor for will never be out of work.

Posted by: Tatyana at 9:45 PM on 16 December 2006

What Jesus wanted to say was "The poor AND THE DAMNED LAWYERS will always be with us."

But he changed it, on advice of (higher) counsel.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 1:08 PM on 18 December 2006