The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

5 December 2006

Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans

Miss Cellania has a list of Automotive Acronyms, of which perhaps the best known is Ford: "Found On Road Dead." (At least, I think it's the best-known; the only time I ever actually heard it spoken was while I was trying to get an old Mercury started in the parking lot at Heritage Park and a couple of clowns in a Pontiac tossed it at me as they whizzed by at 14 mph.)

I offered my standard (okay, maybe it's automatic) rendering of "Oldsmobile" — "Old, Leisurely-Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Inferior Leftover Equipment."

Other old favorites:

  • Acura: "Another Car Using Rice Additives"
  • Dodge: "Digs Own Damn Grave Eventually"
  • Fiat: "Fix It Again, Tony"
  • Honda: "Hugely Overpriced Non-Domestic Automobile"
  • Hyundai: "How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import"
  • Kia: "Korea's Incompetence Amazing"
  • Mazda: "Major Asshole Zipping Down Alleyways"
  • Saab: "Shape Appears Ass-Backwards"

And it took a while, but I finally turned up one for my own car: "It Never Found Its Niche: It's Truly Inconsequential."

(A truly prodigious list can be found here.)

Posted at 9:42 AM to Driver's Seat

Oooo... these are fun. I used to know a different one for Dodge but I can't remember it now.

Posted by: Lynn at 9:19 PM on 5 December 2006

"Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere" comes immediately to mind.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:28 PM on 5 December 2006