The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

14 December 2006

Olfactory seconds

News item: Jimmie Johnson, 2006 winner of the Nextel Cup Series and reigning champion of its premiere race, the Daytona 500, has signed on with Elizabeth Arden as national spokesperson for the Daytona 500 Fragrance for Men.

Top Ten Sports Fragrances Rejected By Elizabeth Arden Before Choosing "Daytona 500":

  1. Mark Cuban's Hissy Fit
  2. Scarlet Billows by Curt Schilling
  3. Portrait of the Artest
  4. Foul Balls
  5. Ground-Rule Doublemint
  6. Hai Sticking
  7. This Is SportsScenter
  8. Jeter After Dark
  9. Anywhere Within Six Feet of John Madden
  10. balco: the barry bonds experience

Not available at a store near you.

(Suggested by Deadspin.)

Posted at 12:46 PM to Listing to One Side


If you didn't already know, Jeter already does have a fragrance named after him. Schilling's should be Eau du Sox Rouge (mmm... disgusting but heroic). And can you GET within six feet of John Madden?

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 1:33 PM on 14 December 2006

I understand Ricky Williams' Contact is popular with a lot of college students.

Posted by: Joel at 3:28 PM on 14 December 2006

Hee.

Posted by: Veronica at 6:04 PM on 14 December 2006

Jeter's fragrance is called No. 2.

Really.

Posted by: John Salmon at 10:24 PM on 14 December 2006

Don't forget the new Matsuzaka scent, 'Dice'. It costs a fraction of the price of other top perfumes, but it'll cost you $50 million to open the box.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 12:21 PM on 16 December 2006