The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

12 December 2006

Snitches of the future

Fayetteville, Arkansas is enlisting children to look for city code violations:

An educational program to teach kids how to spot building and property code violations — complete with colorful characters such as "Willie Weeds" and "Trashy Tina" — will be in the hot little hands of local children soon, thanks to Fayetteville city officials. The program is funded by a federal Community Development Block Grant and corporate sponsors.

The centerpiece of the idea is an activity book listing "Fayetteville's Dirty Dozen." Don't expect Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson to make an appearance, though. Instead, officials expect kids to take their cues from characters like "Willie Weeds," a peace-sign-flashing, Birkenstock-wearing collector of crabgrass and other filthy foliage.

Yolanda Fields, community resources director for the city, said the activity book is intended to educate future homeowners before they develop bad habits. The other benefit, she added, is children can inform their parents.

Or, inevitably, inform on their parents.

They deny it, of course:

The books, aimed at fourth- and fifth-graders, are part of a larger effort. No, Fields said, it's not to get kids to rat out their parents for yard violations.

"It's a full-blown interactive education program," she said.

The operative term here is "blown."

Remember, children: your first duty is to the government. You are pwned from the day you are born.

Then again, this is a town that doles out specific quantities of trash bags per year, and should you need more than that, it will cost you.

(Via Hit & Run.)

Posted at 11:23 AM to Dyssynergy

"Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it... All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children."
- George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 2

Posted by: Tim at 7:56 PM on 12 December 2006

"Ah, children of the night. What beautiful music they make."

Posted by: Count Snitch! at 10:11 PM on 12 December 2006

When people are forced to buy trash bags from the govt, litter inevitably increases, and dumpsters in back of businesses get packed with household garbage.

When dumps stop accepting tires, the roadside ditches, lakes, and ponds start collecting them instead.

When Albany NY stopped collecting dead appliances, they started sprouting like mushrooms in vacant lots (to their credit, Albany eventually reversed their policy).

All the morons who adopt these policies fail to understand basic human nature.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 10:16 PM on 12 December 2006

Eh, the trash bag thing wasn't so bad. We never ran out in all the years we lived in Fayette-nam, even when our teen-aged boy lived with us. The last year we lived there they distributed big trash bins, into which you could put all the trash you wanted, regardless of the type of trash bag.

The real nature of the town is shown in one of their current controversies. The hippies' 'Peace Fountain' installed near the town square was welcomed. But they're talking about forcing the removal of the new Veteran's Monument someone put up. Why? Because it displays a different vet's name each week, and so isn't a proper monument.

Besides, it might offend some hippy tree-hugger.

Posted by: rita at 7:53 AM on 13 December 2006