The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

8 December 2006

With Owen Wilson as Ron the Baptist

Something I quoted from Premiere's Libby Gelman-Waxner:

The Da Vinci Code suggests that Jesus was actually married to Mary Magdalene, and that they were very happy and had a child. It's the Pretty Woman take on the New Testament, with a powerful guy falling for a hooker. This theory of course made me violently jealous of Mary Magdalene, because she could go to cocktail parties or cookouts and just casually say things like "Well, when Jesus and I were in Aruba . . ." or "Can you believe it? I had the baby two weeks ago, and I'm already back in a bikini. It's like a miracle!"

Let's face it, Jesus would have been the best husband of all time. He was gorgeous, he was incredibly compassionate, and he was a carpenter, so none of your cabinets would ever stick.

Perhaps Libby was more prescient than she thought:

From Variety, news of a new romantic comedy called Prodigal Son: "Story revolves around a workaholic single woman who is set up on a date by her mother. Her date, a handsome, kind and caring carpenter who works at Ikea, turns out to be Jesus Christ, who's returned for Armageddon and settled in contemporary Los Angeles. Deal was worth high six-figures."

Well, you have to figure that Armageddon isn't going to start in Indianapolis, but apart from that, what's wrong with this picture?

I hope Ms Gelman-Waxner collects at least a "Suggested by" credit.

Posted at 12:00 PM to Almost Yogurt


"Well, you have to figure that Armageddon isn't going to start in Indianapolis, but apart from that, what's wrong with this picture?"

Everything.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 11:23 PM on 9 December 2006