The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 February 2007

And Tom wins it in a walk

If you were to judge strictly by MySpace friend counts, the 2008 Presidential contenders would be Barack Obama and Ron Paul.

And Paul, despite leading all the GOP contenders, would come in fifth overall. This can be explained in one of two ways:

[It is] a sign that Republicans have yet to fully embrace the Myspace phenomenon, or maybe they just realize 14-year-old girls can't vote.

Wonkette describes the environment this way:

It's a place where born-again illiterate Jesus freaks, tattooed and pierced illiterate suburban kids, fake gangsta illiterate urban youth, orange-skinned horse-faced illiterate high-school dropout gals who aspire to celebrity sluthood or a career in the Army, violent illiterate psychopathic "Juggalos" and a bedeviled minority of depressed semi-literate goth & emo teens in the Midwest all come together to show us what the United States will be like once the current crop of old people dies off.

Surely the GOP ought to be able to get a few votes out of this bunch: they can't all be Democrats.

Posted at 4:09 PM to Political Science Fiction


"born-again illiterate Jesus freaks, tattooed and pierced illiterate suburban kids, fake gangsta illiterate urban youth, orange-skinned horse-faced illiterate high-school dropout gals who aspire to celebrity sluthood or a career in the Army, violent illiterate psychopathic "Juggalos" and a bedeviled minority of depressed semi-literate goth & emo teens in the Midwest"

I wonder what kind of platform draws the Juggalo (not to be confused with the Juggahoe) vote. Possibly it pays to cultivate the loyalty of a few comely Juggalettes first.

That's right, I'm down with this. What, you think I just Googled it? Well, you're Juggaloco. MCL, Scrubs!

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 4:37 PM on 21 February 2007

I could be wrong, but I have just the tiniest hunch Wonkette doesn't think much of the MySpace cadets' general level of literacy.

Posted by: McGehee at 6:43 PM on 21 February 2007

Strangely enough, I'm not too impressed by the Wonkette team's level of literacy either. In fact, I always thought that Wonkette and MySpace were made for each other.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 6:07 AM on 22 February 2007

(Okay, truth: I thought that just now. Otherwise I never think of Wonkette or MySpace.)

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 6:08 AM on 22 February 2007