The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 February 2007

Angel was a centerfold

Last year I made up a list of "Phrases I never want to hear again," and prominent on that list — to the extent that it was the only item that drew a reproach in comments, anyway — was this:

"Anna Nicole Smith," unless followed by "was found dead"

In the wake of Vickie's demise (that was her real name, and I always liked it better anyway), I have decided to append a note about it to that post. (Unlike some denizens of blogdom, I have never suffered from the delusion that I could cover my tracks.)

Meanwhile, were I inclined to do one of my infamous pop-culture sendoffs — and believe me, if I couldn't come up with something heartfelt for Frankie Laine, I surely wouldn't be able to say anything about Ms Smith — I'd be better served just ripping off this item from Tam:

[S]ince there are plenty of celebrity-watching blogs out there eulogizing and scandalizing in all their banner-ad festooned, audio-streaming glory, I figured I'd let them do what they do best, which is pretending to care about Anna Nicole Smith, and I'd stick to doing what I do best, which is making fun of stuff that pretty much has nothing to do with Anna Nicole Smith. That is, until I saw that PETA had released a statement on her demise. The highlight?

"A long-time vegetarian who had slimmed down into a stunning beauty when she stopped eating meat..."

...and she died at 39, you tree-hugging dingus. I'm her age and, while I lack the dope habit, I do smoke and I eat meat and you don't see me keeling over in any Florida hotels, do you? So there you go: Learn from Anna, go eat some steak today.

I'm readying a New York strip for the grill this evening.

Posted at 1:14 PM to Almost Yogurt

The only lesson here is that taking drugs is a really stupid thing to do and that no amount of otherwise healthy living will overcome that. Eating a lot of steak is also unhealthy - especially for the cows.

Posted by: OkiePundit at 12:06 AM on 10 February 2007

This is Jeff Goldstein, Charles, the owner of the site you link to as a "source" for thinking that some people want to scrub the Internet of their comments. Paranoid, violent, genocidal, and so lacking in self-awareness that, according to Decartes, he doesn't even exist.

What pains me about that link is that I know full well that *you* are smart enough to know not to believe anything on that site, and yet you linked to it anyway.

Posted by: Matt at 1:51 AM on 10 February 2007

Had you placed a bet in the Dead Celebrities Pool on Vickie, you may have hit the jackpot!

Posted by: Nina at 9:12 AM on 10 February 2007

Dear Mr. Deatherage:

I have removed the link you proferred, inasmuch as (1) it is irrelevant to the thread and (2) in fact, your whole comment is irrelevant to the thread and was evidently tossed in because you were desperate to score some sort of rhetorical point. (Incidentally, you were not successful.)

Mr Goldstein, I might note, was much amused by this item of yours. I am debating whether I should send him (and also Pablo, who wrote the item to which I linked) your name and URL.

Note to the rest of you: There is a reason why I have a moderation queue here. You have now seen it.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:51 AM on 10 February 2007