The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

11 February 2007

When you care enough to wring the very most

Philip Stanhope, Lord Chesterfield, sneered at sex: "The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense is damnable." I might suggest that his lordship might have been happier had he tried other positions, but his other two premises are well-nigh unassailable.

Now Terry comes forth to assail one of them, and right on time, too:

"Gifting" is considered the salvation of profits, which is indicative of a societal misperception that dollars = devotion. Sure, being remembered is nice, but that's true day to day, not on artificial occasions. A simple "I'm thinking of you" goes much farther than something wrapped up with a bow. If I want flowers, I'll pick up a small bouquet from the grocery store for $5. If I want jewelry, I'll spend a couple of bucks at Target or Shopko. I don't need anyone to prove something to me by buying them for me. I think most women would agree with me. Men need to see advertising for what it is: an underhanded way for the retail industry to weasel money out of their pockets by convincing them that they're unworthy in a woman's eyes if they don't come across with something expensive. Don't believe it.

It probably wouldn't hurt if a few more women had this insight, either, if you know what I mean.

Now does anybody have any ideas to stretch out the "momentary pleasure"?

Posted at 12:48 PM to Table for One

In the future, men will be endowed with the gekko-like power to grow extra penises as needed. Unfortunately, women will have more headaches.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 2:07 PM on 11 February 2007

"I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw."
Tallulah Bankhead

Posted by: triticale at 2:51 PM on 11 February 2007

When I was young and immature I had the notion that flowers, and gifts were important, mostly because like the guys I had fallen for the marketing ploys surrounding those types of things. I've since grown up and believe that these things are not important at all. What really matters to me is being able to spend time with the one I love. I could give a toot or less about Valentine's day.

We don't even buy each other Christmas gifts, haven't done that for quite a long time. I hate it when people ask, "What did your husband get you for Christmas?" I assume they are just being nosy and want to form some sort of opinion of what sort of man he is based on such a superficial thing. I say this because in the past, I've been treated to the "ah, poor thing" he must not love your treatment when I say simply, "nothing".

Posted by: Heather at 9:53 AM on 12 February 2007