The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

19 March 2007

Imaginary lover

A reader, not of this site, writes to Aunt Fugly:

I have this great wife — she's smart, she's exotic, she likes to talk about really obscure books while walking around the house naked, and she enjoys traveling and drinking beer. All my friends think she sounds fantastic but because she lives in a different part of the state for work, they haven't met her. But they're doubling the pressure lately for me to introduce them. There's just one problem: She doesn't exist. I totally made her up and it's been three years now, including a successful stint in couples counseling that I couldn't stop talking about, and I'm worried it might be a little bit too late to confess to my friends that she's fake. Apparently I am kind of a douchebag. What should I do? Should I admit to my friends that I lied? ... No, really, give me an actual good idea.

Aunt Fugly's response is here, and there's really nothing that I can add to it, except this: should this mythical spouse turn out to exist after all, consider this a call of dibs.

Posted at 12:14 PM to Table for One