The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

28 May 2007

Altogether = ooky

There seem to be two issues plaguing Brattleboro, Vermont these days: an influx of people without clothing, and the difficulty of getting bicyclists and motorists to coexist.

In a letter to the editor of the Brattleboro Reformer, local resident Cindy Coble presents a two-pronged solution:

After a long, confusing night of drinking scotch and determined to try and solve the constant problems in our town of both public nudity and cyclist vs. motorist, God gave me an epiphinette.

The nudists must be encouraged to ride bikes instead of lounging around downtown where everyone can see their ooky nether regions, thereby speeding up the sighting of personal parts for those who are squeamish.

Also, cyclists, and you know who you are, show off that toned body! Riding naked may be uncomfortable at first, but will surely command the motorists' attention. There, I did it. Man, does my brain hurt.

I guess the really surprising thing here is that someone from Vermont admits to drinking Scotch.

Posted at 10:55 AM to Birthday Suitable , Driver's Seat