The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

14 May 2007

Strange search-engine queries (67)

This is actually the 68th in the series; the very first of these compendiums was titled "Do I look like freaking Jeeves?" What's more, rather a long time passed before this became a weekly feature. Still, that first intro is worth remembering:

Today's log is even more full of questions than usual, and being the generous soul I am, I figured the least I could do is tackle some of them head-on. Every last one of these was a search-engine request that, reports SiteMeter, led to a page at this very domain.

dora the explorer smoking a weed joint:  I bet she got it from Swiper.

the pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear:  Geez, you'd think I'd be having serious fun.

chickenshit fertilizer:  If that actually worked, Washington, D.C. would be the greenest spot on earth.

why teller wear pantyhose:  Evidently Penn is kinda kinky.

Greg Kihn sucked:  Now that's a Kihntemptible thing to say.

with a lovely naked unclothed typist (6):  And I am not known for lengthy dictation.

how to measure the iq of a human being:  Start with 100. If he at any time says "Oh, that's just the guy from the federal government, he's here to help," subtract 12.

visualizing dream girl:  I tried that, and a hand materialized from out of nowhere and slapped me silly.

King Kaufman salon transexual:  I think you've confused him with some other sportswriter.

divine sapphic lifetime hookups:  Aren't they, though?

sagittarius women give great blowjobs:  I suppose I'll have to take your word for it.

does the local option sales tax unfairly target the poor:  No more than any other sales tax.

are narcissists cruel to animals:  Only if they can find the time.

My penis aches with desire on the mountaintop of nudism:  You sure it's desire and not, say, mosquitoes?

Charles Hill arrested:  This might make sense if the next word had been "development."

Posted at 6:29 AM to You Asked For It

Told you you should have gotten a building permit.

Posted by: McGehee at 7:47 AM on 14 May 2007

And what crime did you arrest development for having committed?

Posted by: triticale at 5:34 PM on 14 May 2007

Mission creep. (The guy who said he was on a mission? A real creep.)

Posted by: CGHill at 6:19 PM on 14 May 2007